Since my last post, Nic has gotten consistent training rides for 4 days in a row. La Resistance has taken quite the beating from Enlightenment, meaning she is starting to release her back better. The first day, La Resistance was in full effect, and after a training ride, started to come through and not fake her "roundness." She fakes it by not lifting her back properly, and just arching her neck. She will track up, and swing her back to some extent, but one can feel La Resistance as one rides her. It's not a pleasant feeling. After 4 days of training rides, her mouth is much softer and she's starting to carry herself and maintain a more constant rhythm, rather than perpetually inverting.The first day, Thursday, of her training rides, I got on her after, and managed to screw her all up again. I move my hands too much, and it's harder for me in general to ride correctly when La Resistance is attempting to knock Enlightenment off its lofty pedestal. As we all know, it's much easier to ride correctly when the horse is behaving his/herself. Such is the travail of the rider. It was a lovely blow to my self-esteem; I don't have many things I'm self-conscious about, but riding is one of them. I felt like a beginner learning to post; she needed a lot of guidance on how to go properly, and I wasn't the gal for the job that day.
After today, she still maintained her softness when I rode her for a half hour or so, so I feel less like a loser in that department. It has become blatant after riding her that I do not put enough weight into my inside heel. As soon as I weight it properly, she is much softer in her topline. So, that's something to work on.
I must admit something, there is a certain element of me that really resents the need for these training rides. I fully realize they are beneficial, and are by a worthier rider than I because there are massive limits to my ability as a trainer, but there is still that part of my ego that despises those limitations and resents that I need someone else to fix the holes. I recognize that I likely haven't done anything to screw up my horse's training, that she and I are used to each other, and she has found where I'm weak and can be taken advantage of, but I still don't like that someone else has to get on her to give her a different ride and to improve upon what I have accomplished. I realize that no project is completed by one person only, and tell myself that the whole point is success (i.e., a properly trained horse) regardless of the road taken to accomplish that, and that most things in life are a joint effort. Yet....
What can I say? This is how I feel. I essentially resent that someone else gets to build a training relationship with her, however weird that sounds. Guess I just don't like to admit my limitations.
