Well, We're Movin' On Up: April 30, 2007

Ok, folks, someone please tell me what the hell I was thinking mixing my white show saddle pad with colors? See, integration is a wonderful thing, but not when it comes to laundry. Really, I do know better than to mix my whites with my colors, and now I have a blue show pad to show for my lack of judgement. Mazel tov!

Speaking of mazel tov, today Nic and I moved on up to a deluxe stall with a window. Here she is enjoying her new window! It's the corner stall; that's right, we've moved on up to the corner suite. Oh yes, we have arrived! We finally got a piece of the pie!

Some other sucker gets to slum it in the stall with no window now. Just kidding, the stall we were in was a great stall, Nic is just excited to have something to watch now.

Nic and I have made a couple new friends since Trainer's untimely (or timely, depending on who you talk to) exit. One boarder is very kindly going to drive with me in the trailer to the show, so I don't have to drive alone. I have also been placed in contact with a professional hauler; she didn't have any openings for this weekend, but she did in the future. At least we have a contact for the future.

My ride times for this weekend are up (finally) and they aren't too hideous. I generally have a "no riding before noon" policy, but for shows, I obviously suspend that if I must. My ride times are 10:30am and 11:30am, so I think I can handle that. I had better ride times on Saturday (2:30 and 3:30) but I can't get a ride that day, so I will have to scratch. After the "Leg Edema" incident after the last show, I am hesitant to take Nic to a 2-day show, so that's why we are sticking to Sunday.

Nic has told another boarder, Tenacious D, that she misses Trainer, but since we are but men, what can one do? We are trying out 2 new trainers this week, one on Wednesday and one on Thursday. Both are FEI level trainers, and both have extensive show records. I'm going to try both, then pick one, because I really only want to work with one person and their system. My goal here is to have a trained horse, and I believe that if there are "too many cooks in the kitchen," to use the cliched idiom, then it's just too confusing.

I had been trying to decide if I should sit or rise the trot through my test. I took video of each; I am doing the same test in each video. The thing about Nic is that I find it easier to half halt her when I'm sitting when she roots. I feel I can keep her more under control. The issue with this is it compromises her gait quality. Hence why I took the video. Here are the links:

Posting: http://youtube.com/watch?v=dRWTX4e4upg

Sitting: http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ymr2IGXLlvs

It was only after I took and uploaded the video that someone told me that I can both sit and post the trot in my test as needed, especially if I need to half halt her and get her listening again. So, that information made this exercise rather obsolete, but the video is still there as a testament to my efforts.

I bought a new bit yesterday to see if it helps with the rooting. Although my mare can be a little piggy, she isn't genetically a pig, and we aren't looking for truffles (although, if she doesn't make it as a dressage horse, a career searching for mushrooms may be in store), so Nic needs to learn to carry herself and cease the rooting.

This new bit is the exact same style as before, a french link loose ring snaffle, but this new one is thinner. I don't know if it will do anything, but the thought occurred to me that maybe she is rooting and not listening because her current bit is too soft and easy for her to tune out. It could also pinch, who knows.

Use Your Delusion, Part I, April 28, 2007

*Cue Doogie Howser MD theme music*

It's been a few days since my last post, and a lot has gone on. Where do I begin to recount the past few days?

On Thursday, Trainer and I had an "artistic disagreement," in a Guns N' Roses kind of way, and I threw him off the farm. Now he isn't speaking to me. Bad heavy metal clichés aside, I think the pressure of being a trainer to a competitive person got to him, and he doesn't want that level of responsibility. That's not to say he doesn't have the knowledge to be successful in that venue; he does. I think Peter Pan just doesn't want to deal with the commitment.

I tend to be very focused in the pressure-cooker sense, and not many people can take the stress. To me, it's just a natural occurrence, and I'm just doing what I feel needs to be done, but not many people are that way. I've been told I have enough energy to sustain New York City. This gross exaggeration aside, I am, how shall we say, NOT CALM. This is just speculation; I really don't know what's up, because he won't speak to me.

So, Trainer has strutted and fretted his hour upon my stage. I think this is the end of Team Nicolbria, and we must "break on through to the other side," in the words of the poetic Jim Morrison. I don't want it to be this way, and I hope it's just temporary, but I cannot stop the wheels of progress because of a minor setback.

Really, though, I'd been seeing signs over the past month of some wear and tear on our working relationship and of Trainer's waning interest. He wasn't returning calls regarding Nic's health, he didn't respond when I asked him if he wanted to go see Nic's babies, the incident at the show, etc. His Mr. Spacely-style outbursts were becoming more frequent. So, there you have it.

And thus begins the Great Trainer Search of 2007. I have someone coming on Thursday, a local FEI trainer (for the uninitiated, FEI is the international governing body of the Horse World. A FEI trainer is one that competes at an international level). I'm gun-shy with regards to trainers as a result of my interactions with the Cult of Beauty; the Horse World is a true "Vanity Fair," and, like Becky Crawley, one is generally at the mercy of the Old Biddies's Club.

I hope it works out with this new trainer. In the meantime, I'll just do what I do with the mare.

Nic and I have our 2nd show next weekend. I have to rearrange transportation - that's the big issue here. I've sent out queries to people to see if they can help; it will be easier to sort out a game plan once I know my ride times. Hiring a trailer shouldn't be hard, it's just expensive. Then there is the issue of needing someone to hold my jacket and watch the clock, etc.

So Long, Riding Jeans, We Hardly Knew Ye: April 25, 2007

Ah, 'tis the end of an era....Special K helped measure me for a pair of Equissentials britches. It is unlike me to do an unabashed product placement like this on "Of Horses and Humans," but I love Special K's britches, so I had to get a pair like them. And since "Of Horses and Humans" is about me, my horse, and the Horse World in general, I suppose it's ok to talk about my new britches. They are black (of course! Everyone looks good in black! Hides the fat...) full seat with deerskin leather. I requested to have the NA/WPN logo (pictured left) stitched into the leather. I thought this would be a cute idea since Nic is a registered NA/WPN. I suppose this is the one aspect of my personality that aligns with the DQ persona - I do like breed logos. The same logo is on my show saddle pad. But that's where my commonalities with the Dressage Queen persona ends.

Quite contrary to public opinion, I am not too big for my britches. The opposite in fact - I've lost enough weight that none of my existing jeans fit me. So, now I'm too small for my britches (or jeans, but that's merely semantics).

Let me tell you about the lifespan of a pair of jeans that I wear riding. They start out as new and as fresh as school children on the first day of school. After a while (say, 3 weeks or so) they are broken in and comfortable, albeit a little stinky. But this is a good stinky, like a fine Brie or a robust Camembert. Other similarities with runny French cheeses, besides the smell, are the mold that ripens the jeans and the fungi that encrusts and preserves same said jeans. Finally, after many months of wear and love, the jeans begin to rip in the most unfortunate of places, until the holes are too large for this modest horsewoman to handle. Such is the lowly lifespan of a pair of jeans worn by yours truly.

One can see how I could become tired of this sad cycle, thereby explaining my evening rendezvous with Special K and a measuring tape. Or, more to the point, as Special K put it, I've come to a point in my riding where a pair of britches is essential. Poor BFF Steph will have to lead the riding jeans brigade on her own, much to her dismay.

So long, riding jeans, we hardly knew ye.

We have had a string of 80 degree days, and the poor horses are feeling it. Nic has not been herself this week. If only the mare could talk! She has been doing very well with her canter transitions. I've focused on that since my last lesson with Trainer, since we scored so poorly on them at the show. Monday, she bucked the first trot-canter transition on each side, but did the subsequent transitions on each side well. Tuesday, we did 6 transitions in total, and only got 1 buck! 5 out of 6 ain't bad. Today, Wednesday, she did all of them very well. I hope this means we are getting somewhere! "5's" on our canter transitions, here we come! (6's are still probably out of our league...) Short of writing a letter to Santa at the North Pole, I've done all I can to ensure we get better scores at our next show.

She has clamped down on the right side of the bit for the past 2 days. I am hoping that it is just because she is tired (it IS 80 degrees, after all), especially since she has been trying so hard on her upward canter transitions.

Miss Thang lost control of her normally reserved self yesterday and bit me. Just took a big ol' chomp out of my arm. She is a girthy horse, and something got the best of her yesterday. Mares and their opinions! Believe me, I've tried everything to make girthing up more comfortable for this horse, and no, she doesn't have ulcers. I don't think it has to do with girthing being uncomfortable as much as just not liking that area touched, because she is the same way with blankets. I know I don't like being touched every place on my body, so I guess horses are the same way! I have a nice hematoma from Nic's little love bite...I'll just tell everyone that Trainer beat me.

Funny story: A couple years ago, when I first started riding, I rode Mr. Sister's horse, and, as the cliche requires, I fell off the poor beast, and went sailing under the fence, causing a bruise on my entire left bicep. The next day, I went on vacation with Papa Smurf (Dad) to Belgium. I'm not a shy butterfly, and of course wore tank tops, not thinking too hard about the bruise on my arm. It took me a while to figure out why people were looking at me, then staring at Papa Smurf, then looking back at me. Whoops. At least I got a funny story out of it, right?

Wow, I just realized I've been writing "Of Horses and Humans" for more than a month now. Hasn't seemed like that long...it has been terrifying and wonderful, n'est pas?

In BM I Trust and the Sane Boarder's Prayer: April 24, 2007

We have some empty stalls at the farm. Oh, yes, the corner stall with a window will be mine...oh, yes, it will be mine!

Please dear Jesus, bring us boarders who are sane! We already have one very grandiose DQ at our barn, please for the love of all that is good and pure, do not bestow upon us anymore dressage queens! For those who aren’t “in the know,” Dressage Queens are the mayors of the Cult of Beauty, and spend more time making disparaging remarks about others than actually riding their horses.

For this, I utter the following "Sane Boarder's Prayer":

Our Barn Manager, who hath made heaven,
Hallowed be thy Hay.
New boarders come.
Sanity’s will be done,
On arrival as it is presently.
Give us this day our sane new boarders.
And forgo our past dramas,
As we can’t forgive those who make much ado about nothing.
And lead us not into insanity,
But deliver us from lunacy.
For thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Yes, I wrote that, so it's copywrited. I'm thinking if I just repeat this enough times, we will have good, honest, mind-their-own-business-and-not-stir-the-pot boarders. The people we have now are great, and we all get along very well. I just don't want the balance to be upset. There is one person boarding there that I've had to discontinue discussions about/with because it was just too much drama going on. Otherwise, it’s been sunny skies.

I'm an easy boarder - I clean up after myself, contribute where I can, try not to stir up the pot too much, and just generally get along with everyone as best I can, even if that means ignoring them. I've been told by BM that I'm an easy boarder, so I'm not just making this up. Cross my heart, and hope to die.

Let’s face it, however, I am one of those people who can’t stand to be stepped on, so when someone tries to step on me (as often happens with Dressage Queens and the Cult of Beauty), I must push back. It’s in my nature. So, hopefully, we will get people who mind their own business, and don’t try to take liberties that aren’t theirs to take.

So please, dear BM, for the love of all that is good and great, please find us sane boarders. I trust your judgment; you are a good BM and a good judge of character. I guess a few weeks ago, a Western Pleasure rider came looking for a stall, and she didn't think they would be a good fit because of differences in training ideas. That was my understanding. I think also there was a current boarder who wanted the stall, so they got priority. In BM I trust.

On a different note, Nic did better yesterday. We are working on our canter transitions. We got 4’s on our last test because of the bucking, so we are working on quiet, sane trot-canter transitions. I got a number of good ones in each direction yesterday.

We also need to work on our free walk. I don’t think we have much of an excuse for the 5’s that we got. Really, it’s walking! Nic is a red head, not a blonde, and it’s not like she has to walk and chew gum at the same time (difficult for yours truly), so our free walk scores really need to be higher.

Two New Videos and A Challenge: April 23, 2007

I have two new video clips to share. They are equally crappy in quality, since I didn't have anyone to video for me. Sorry about that. However, I do have a challenge for you, dear reader. Both videos are of me riding Nic - can you figure out in which video Trainer rode Nic before I rode her? This is just an amusing exercise to wile away the boredom of a Monday morning.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7500627190345628071
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1369265106961101044

On a different note, I've been emailing with Nic's previous owner regarding the two foals Nic had before coming to me. Recall, Nic was a broodmare long before I got her. I may have seen them when I went to check out Nic, but I don't recall. I've been invited to see the babies, and I hope it works out. I've been interested to see how like Nic they are. Someone needs to hold me back from buying one of them though. There's an empty stall at the farm....really, it isn't even the purchase price that stops me because the price is reasonable. It's the cost of keeping 2 horses.

Pass the SPF 45 Before I'm Burnt by Enlightenment: April 22, 2007

Sometimes I look at Nic while Trainer is riding her, and I wonder what she's thinking. Sometimes I see the lightbulb going off (or, since the horse has a brain the size of a walnut, I see the candle being lit), but mostly I just don't see anything. Maybe she's concentrating? In her stall, her thoughts are easy to read: Hay, Hay, Grain, Hay, Hay, Apple, Hay, Oh, brush my face!....

I've got some new video. Maybe you can read her thoughts?

It was 80 degrees and sunny today. Time to get out the sunscreen! I have this dramatic fear of wrinkles, and I got a little sunburn on my chest today. I refuse to look like a baked ham when I'm 50, so I try to do the sunscreen thing. I had a friend in college who was 21 and looked like leather (with crows feet!) from spending so much time in the sun. She didn't smoke or anything! Just sun damage. The lesson: Sunscreen it up, folks.

So, after some thought, I'm throwing caution to the wind, and am going to discuss the "circumstances" that happened at the show April 14th. Pull up a rug, and get out your milk and cookies, because it's story time.

I scheduled a 6:30am leave time. My first ride time was around 10:15am. Bear in mind that I was driving the trailer. Trainer blew off the leave time, deciding that 6:30am was too early for him to wake up. As a result of his "johnny come lately" attitude, we left an hour late, arriving at the show an hour late. I was able to get in 15 min of warmup before my ride time. Sorry, I can't even be funny about this.

Just as I was about to go in to the ring to do my test, I realized Trainer left my stock tie at the trailer. As a result, I missed my ride time, and was almost eliminated from my first class. For the uninitiated, dressage riders are required to wear certain articles of clothing, one of which is the stock tie. Our illustration of the illustrious Mr. Peanut does not include one, so I've attached a photo here:


Yes, this was also my very first show ever. So, you can understand why I wasn't too unhappy about our scores. He was supposed to read my tests out loud for me, but disappeared, and didn't read my first test. I had the test memorized, but was so livid by the time I got into the test ring that I went off course.

To be fair, he did talk to the judge about what happened, which is why I got to ride at all. I don't know what he said. Otherwise I would have just been eliminated.

Really, the guy is a brilliant rider, but has serious time management issues, and serious respect issues. The cabron just loses it when he has to do anything but ride. I'm getting to the end of my tether with this guy, especially considering the level of effort I've put out to keep him working with my horse. I'm beginning to question whether working with him is worth the chronic headaches. He leaves so much up to me to figure out on my own, and then bitches about how I do stuff.

Really, though, Friday's walk through the Garden of Malcontent has been the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. We have been working consistently on Thursday, Friday, and Sunday, with nary a deviation except for the past 2 weeks due to holidays and shows on Sundays. Because he doesn't have a license right now, I have to pick him up to come to the farm, and we chose these days because both of us could allot enough time for picking him up and dropping him off. We have done this consistently for 2 months.

I don't know what got into him, but he tried to tell me Friday that we had been discussing switching Sundays with Saturdays. Yeah, um, no we hadn't. Now, I get that on Sundays he is tired from working and just wants the day to be over. I can appreciate that. However, considering the amount of patience I've had with this whole arrangement, especially taking into account the events of my last show, being told that we have discussed something that I'm quite aware we never discussed is a figurative slap in the face. I'm not stupid, so either he is trying to lead me down some garden path, or he's having psychotic episodes and having these discussions with himself. Like I said, I'm basically out of patience with this guy. So, I really don't know what's going to happen. The arrangement we have, and our interactions with each other, and with the horse basically works, but he gives me far too many headaches. I've had root canals that were more pleasant than dealing with him has been lately. (No, really, I have.)

Where Mr. Peanut Meets Bullwinkle: April 20, 2007

Mr. Peanut: The Ultimate DQ?

Ah Mr. Peanut, how you do rock the DQ ensemble. Note the white gloves, the magician-esque quality about them...the old chap even has the requisite upper-crust pinkie going on. Mr. Peanut, if only we mere dressage riders could look as good as you...you are the Queen of the Cult of Beauty, the veritable soul of the Dressage Queen. Unfortunately, Wikipedia doesn't have a definition of "Dressage Queen," but if it did, you'd find Mr. Peanut's photo right there.

In the hideously small photo to the left, you can see an actual DQ sporting a similar look as Mr. Peanut. Little did Planters know, when creating Mr. Peanut, that they were, in fact, stealing the look DQ's have worn since the inception of Dressage. Or did they?!

In an act of rebellion against the Cult of Beauty (sorry, Mr. Peanut), I bought tie-dye and pink leopard print polo wraps. Both sets are equally obnoxious. In shows, I'm willing to put on the Mr. Peanut get-up, but bucking the trend is my normal MO. Hmmm...maybe the horse and I are more alike than I thought.

Just as I bucked the DQ trend this week, Nic spent much of this week bucking the "nice canter transition" trend. Nic got a training ride on Tuesday, and from what I recall, that went fairly well. Wednesday, however, she bucked through her transitions. I don't really know what the deal is with these bucking transitions, except that there's a remote possibility that I have a tense horse. The bucking generally is a result of her not stretching her back. This back stretching issue is a real hurdle. I think once it's overcome, the rest will come much easier. It's so frustrating. After 8 months, the horse understands the concepts of lateral work; she can do shoulder-in, half pass. She just can't do canter transitions calmly and stretch over her topline.

There is a boarder at the farm that is into the ganja, and has meditation sessions with my horse. She tells me what Nic is trying to say to me, but that I'm just not "attuned enough" to hear. Maybe she and Nic should get together and "feel alright." Maybe that would help my tense mare mellow out a little. Perhaps this is the way to crack La Resistance...mon.

Nic received a vaccination on Tuesday. I wasn't aware she was getting one until BM told me that afternoon that the vet was out to see her. Naturally, I placed a call to the vet, and was told that Nic got the same vaccine I gave her a week or so ago. Hmmm....that wasn't what we discussed; she was due for Potomac Horse Fever and West Nile vaccines. That explains why she didn't want to move her neck on Tuesday, and why she was making that same strange face she made the day that I thought she was pissed at me. They really shouldn't have given her anything without notifying me first, but mistakes happen.

Yesterday, whoo boy howdy, as the cowboys say. Woe betides the rider who gets in the way of a mare in heat. I didn't actually get on her, because Trainer said she was so stiff, it was pointless. She is in heat, and she gets very achy when that happens. It's useless to attempt to make her do anything.

Today, she did much better. These training rides are doing their job very well but she is still a tough ride even after Trainer gets on her. She isn't a robot that he programs - I still have to support her every inch of the way. I think we are slowly cracking La Resistance. Only my scores at the next show will tell.

I just realized I don't have a horse, I have a moose. A big, pushy Bullwinkle. La Resistance is just a fancy name for it. Be with us next time for "Half a Trainer Is Better Than None" or "Where Is My Stock Tie?"

April 17, 2007

I just looked at the scores online from the show last weekend. If the set of circumstances that arose did not occur, we would have likely placed in Training 3. Because I had the course error, I received a 2 point deduction, and the judge counted our 2nd canter transition and canter circle, rather than the first, correct, transition and circle. The 2nd canter transition, Nic bucked and picked up the wrong lead. The judge was generous to give a "4" for that. We likely would have gotten a "6" on the first transition, judging by how she scored the right lead transition.

I realize that a measure of blame is completely on myself, because I should have had my wits more about me. Looking again at the score sheet, we also need to work on our free walk, and stretching down and out. It is encouraging that we could do much better but it's also frustrating when you know you can do better and it just doesn't happen. We need to focus on bringing those "4," "5," and "6" marks up.

She who fumes cannot be funny: April 16, 2007

We are back from our first show, and sort of all in one piece. We laughed, we cried, we desperately wanted some horse tranquilizers.

The trouble with horses is that they are horses. They do not care about 20 meter canter circles, focusing when they would rather be cavorting with handsome stallions, or converting nervous energy into half halts. They cannot separate the frantic canter asked for when the poor adult amateur has to rush to a vendor to buy a stock tie because the trainer left it at the trailer from the quiet and disciplined canter asked for in the dressage court. Horses really can be quite unreasonable in this fashion.

I wouldn't say our first show experience was a good one, but I enjoyed it, and, I believe, so did Nic. La Resistance was on Orange Alert on Saturday, but I think it was by default. Nic was very interested in our surroundings, and the silly dressage test got in the way of her Magellanic inclinations. Such is the path to Enlightenment.

Our scores were lower than I would have liked them to be, but there were circumstances that contributed to the lower scores. In brief, we ended up only getting what amounted to a 20 minute warm up. Nic requires 45 minutes before she is able to focus.

What became obvious was our canter and canter transitions need work. One can see this reflected in our scores. Because Nic was, shall we say, "energetic," she wasn't stretching through her topline and loosening her back, resulting in a Wild West show. Seeing as how I'm not Wild Bill Cody, but rather a meek dressage enthusiast, this display went unappreciated by our judges and we received "4" on each transition, which lowered our overall score.

The judges used the full spectrum of numbers available to use, and, dear reader, you can see that we did get lots of good scores, like an "8" on our 20 meter trot circle, and a "7" for gait quality. Her gait quality was hampered by yours truly, and by her desire to do anything except be in the dressage ring. This was our first show however, so I'm just happy we stayed in the ring. One can see that we went off course as well; this required us to perform the canter transition and the canter circle again. The first time she picked it up fine and the circle was fine; the 2nd time she picked up the wrong lead and bucked in the upward transition. I really believe we would have gotten a much better score overall had we not gone off course. The "circumstances" to which I have been alluding contributed to the error, although I can really only blame myself because I should have had my wits more about me.

So how did the trailering go? Perfectly fine. There wasn't an issue at all and I backed it up fine as well. Poor trainer white knuckled it a few times, but he tends to do that when I drive regardless.

Special K, a friend, came to watch with her two young 'uns in tow. Special K was tasked with videoing my rides, however, due to said circumstances was unable to do so. That's why there is no video to display with this post. The kids got a kick out of Nic, and I think she enjoyed them too. Little people amuse her, and Special K's younger son in particular is a fugitive from Oz.

I realize I'm being rather nebulous in my description of said "circumstances" but I need to consider the best way to discuss the set of unfortunate happenings before I stick the proverbial foot in my mouth. (Read: I need to cool down about them first.) She who fumes cannot be funny, so the path to hilarity first requires me to dampen my fiery nature.

Unbeknownst to this humble writer, I should have wrapped Nic's legs in standing wraps after unloading her from the trailer back at the barn. She came up yesterday with 2 very swollen back legs. As Trainer was MIA despite several attempts at contact, Mr. Sister became the purveyor of information about how to treat the edemas in Nic's fetlocks. They looked much better today, and she feels pretty bad ass in her wraps, since the cool geldings at the barn wear them all the time.

The Agony and the Ecstacy. Ok, Mostly the Agony. April 13 (oohhhh, Friday the 13th! do do do do), 2007

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination - Oscar Wilde

Anyone with horses understands the above quote. The ponies, they suck you dry, and you invent ways to make a dollar stretch. Eventually, you come to the irrefutable truth that duct tape and bailing twine fix all. I think Oscar Wilde basically had it right with regards to his perspective on the human population. You have to look at it with a sense of detachment and amusement to be able to cope with it. Then again, the poor guy was sent to prison because of his nature and died shortly thereafter. Fortunately, in 21st century America, we no longer have debtor's prisons, and are therefore allowed much more imaginitive rein than Sister Wilde had.

Poor Oscar revelled in the Aesthetic and Decadent movements, which, ironically, are similar to the nature of the Horse World. Both these movements developed a "cult of beauty," which anyone who has even remotely interacted with horse people will realize is an ideal upon which the Horse World is based.

Why such cynicism this morning? It has been a hassle over the past 24 hours to get stuff accomplished for this show. There is much ado about going on Sunday; Trainer isn't sure he can make it, and our Earth is supposed to experience cold weather and severe storms Sunday. Because Trainer is unable to drive right now, I'm tasked with trailering us to and from the show. Now, some would call me an adventurous gal, but even the biggest thrill-seeker with a capital T would advise against pulling 5,000lb of weight, including livestock, in such tempestuous conditions. I imagine the Cult of Beauty would shudder in horror if we showed up haggard and worn as Moses must have after parting the Red Sea.

So, after pitching a fit last night about Trainer not going on Sunday, I cancelled this morning anyway because of the foul weather prediction. Good thing crazy is a prerequisite to join the Cult of Beauty. I just realized that today is Friday the 13th, which means I can blame my indecision on the Fates. Nice. Or tell the man he dreamed it all. Or take the Postmodernists excuse: My decisions are all of their time and place, and each moment has nothing to do with the previous moment. So there. That works, right?

Learning to drive the trailer wasn't the horrific experience I imagined it would be. I'd like to regale the reader with hilarious tales of misadventure, but in reality, nothing went awry. I did drive like Miss Daisy, driving Trainer to the brink of insanity. I think the world is lovely at 30mph, especially when your normal driving speed is 70mph. Especially when I can drive a man crazy.

Braiding Nic was an experience unto itself. I think we will shock the Cult of Beauty tomorrow. Let's just say that braiding is not my calling, and I shouldn't quit my day job.

The Holy Trinity of Horse Ownership - April 11, 2007

The epic battle between La Resistance and Enlightenment continues with Enlightenment gaining a level of advantage. Nic is slowly seeing that the shadows on the cave wall are figments of reality, and is slowly opening her eyes to the light of the fire.

I spent Sunday and Monday riding Nic after this series of training rides. I thought I had royally screwed her up after our ride on Monday (which would have brought tears to a grown man's eyes it was so painful). Apparently I did ok, because Trainer commented on her progress when he got on her yesterday. She was receiving half halts much better. Still not completely loose in the jaw, but he said she is getting there. So I must have done something right. Score 1 for the blond chick who didn't foul up her horse.

Aside: Logically speaking, I must have been doing something right since my first ride on her, go visit Nic's First Video then view the most recent video for comparison; this series of training rides is the most consistent professional ride she has gotten since I started with her. That is not to diminish the important effect of these training rides, but I also don't want to diminish what I have accomplished with her as well. Make sense?

I noticed, as well, that she was stepping through better, and appeared looser in her back sooner than she appeared last week. Getting on her yesterday confirmed that belief. Last week, we had to use these little bitty steps to prompt her to use her back more effectively. More precisely, unless she could keep using her back by taking larger steps, we kept her on smaller steps to prevent her from hollowing her back, and to ensure she received half halts. This is different from keeping her head down with the reins; no rein pressure is involved, the half halts are created through the seat.

Previously, she had been tracking up (if you don't know what this is, do an internet search of "dressage" and "tracking up"), but she wasn't lifting her back to allow the half halts to come through, was vacant on the bit (although she looks like she's on it) and that energy wasn't getting recycled. Yesterday, she was able to maintain larger steps and still keep her back up, and still accept half halts. One of the WORST feelings in the world on a horse is the feeling of a vacant bit.

La Resistance, although forced into retreat in the dressage court, gained steadily over Enlightenment off the court. On Sunday, Nic got a shot of 5 different vaccines. I think she spent Sunday and Monday feeling crappy (I'm sure our ride on Sunday didn't help, but she didn't appear to feel icky that day, nor before our ride Monday). Monday after our ride, she started acting very strange, pawing at her hay, kicking it to the back of the stall before eating it. She has not done that since I got her. I spent 20 minutes very concerned I was going to have a sick horse.

However, she performed what is the Holy Trinity of horse ownership: She ate, drank, and pooped. Nope, not colic. She was just pissed at me, most notably expressed by not letting me blanket her, but allowing the barn manager to do it. She wouldn't talk to me. I categorize behavior like this, regardless of species, under "Stupid Girl Crap," and took note accordingly. Everything was back to normal after our ride yesterday. We will see what transpires today.

The Travail of a Worthier Pen - April 7, 2007

Since my last post, Nic has gotten consistent training rides for 4 days in a row. La Resistance has taken quite the beating from Enlightenment, meaning she is starting to release her back better. The first day, La Resistance was in full effect, and after a training ride, started to come through and not fake her "roundness." She fakes it by not lifting her back properly, and just arching her neck. She will track up, and swing her back to some extent, but one can feel La Resistance as one rides her. It's not a pleasant feeling. After 4 days of training rides, her mouth is much softer and she's starting to carry herself and maintain a more constant rhythm, rather than perpetually inverting.

The first day, Thursday, of her training rides, I got on her after, and managed to screw her all up again. I move my hands too much, and it's harder for me in general to ride correctly when La Resistance is attempting to knock Enlightenment off its lofty pedestal. As we all know, it's much easier to ride correctly when the horse is behaving his/herself. Such is the travail of the rider. It was a lovely blow to my self-esteem; I don't have many things I'm self-conscious about, but riding is one of them. I felt like a beginner learning to post; she needed a lot of guidance on how to go properly, and I wasn't the gal for the job that day.

After today, she still maintained her softness when I rode her for a half hour or so, so I feel less like a loser in that department. It has become blatant after riding her that I do not put enough weight into my inside heel. As soon as I weight it properly, she is much softer in her topline. So, that's something to work on.

I must admit something, there is a certain element of me that really resents the need for these training rides. I fully realize they are beneficial, and are by a worthier rider than I because there are massive limits to my ability as a trainer, but there is still that part of my ego that despises those limitations and resents that I need someone else to fix the holes. I recognize that I likely haven't done anything to screw up my horse's training, that she and I are used to each other, and she has found where I'm weak and can be taken advantage of, but I still don't like that someone else has to get on her to give her a different ride and to improve upon what I have accomplished. I realize that no project is completed by one person only, and tell myself that the whole point is success (i.e., a properly trained horse) regardless of the road taken to accomplish that, and that most things in life are a joint effort. Yet....

What can I say? This is how I feel. I essentially resent that someone else gets to build a training relationship with her, however weird that sounds. Guess I just don't like to admit my limitations.

April 4, 2007

Ok, it's been a few days. Not much has changed, actually. Nic has been getting training rides from the trainer on a weekly basis. She is still having problems stretching her back and coming through with half halts. The idea is to half halt her to get her to release and push into the bridle. She has the push part down, but doesn't release consistently and all the way. Maybe it's a muscle building thing? I had her on Ex-Stress, and just switched her over to Quiessence. We will see if there is any difference in a couple weeks. Other people have had success with Quiessence when it comes to their horse's back, some haven't.

We are going on an outing on Friday to Schooley Mill (i.e., off the farm property). She will either be very good or very bad. We cliniced with Axel Steiner last November, and she was good, but her version of good that day was to suck back instead of spooking at everything. I'm expecting the same at Schooley Mill, but with this horse, who knows.

Sunday was quite interesting. I don't know what got in to her, but as I ungirthed her saddle in the outdoor arena, she decided to take off, dumping her saddle on the ground. She raged and flirted with the geldings for 15 minutes before I could catch her. I would say she is in heat, but she isn't doing her usual tail lifting and rubbing, etc. I'm wondering if this behaviour could be contributing to the stiffness?

On another note, Walter Zettl came to town this week, and because of a series of events, I was unable to work with him. I'm disappointed, especially with this stiff back thing going on. I can rant about why it didn't take place, but that won't change the fact that it didn't happen.

The Age of Enlightenment, March 25, 2007

The mare absolved herself to a certain extent yesterday. We had a lot less looking and more focus on pushing towards the bridle. She is saved from the meat man for yet another day. It appears in the epic dressage battle between enlightenment and ignorance, enlightenment is winning out momentarily. La Resistance has been redirected. I don't like the imagery of comparing dressage to a Nazi regieme as a descriptor of the training process because dressage is only about subduing freedom from an unenlightened mare's perspective, and, as a whole, dressage is not about subjugation, but rather the extinguishment of ignorance, so a comparison of dressage to the Age of Enlightenment seems more valid.

What was so good about it? Well, Friday our entire ride (and lesson) was about getting Nic to pay attention to something other than the children playing across the street. Nic is obsessed with kids; adults she couldn't give 2 figs about. La Resistance was at an all time high that day, and the effects were scorching. I'm hearing from the ground she looked fine, but that's how La Resistance spins you into her silken webs; appearances and reality fail to intersect frequently. Nicole's main MO is to look perfect on the ground but give the rider one hell of a time uptop. That's how she's convinced the world that I'm nuts. When the ground eyes get on the horse, suddenly they are educated in the subtle ways of La Resistance. I should change Nic's show name to: "Nicolbria: La Resistance."

I am hearing that the frame we had her in on Fri and Sat was something of a more challenging frame, although I dont know exactly what it was, mainly because I don't have an omniscient view of myself. She had lotsa sweat on her flank even though it was colder (50's) yesterday. I take that as a good sign. I had to use a LOT more leg too (huff, puff) to keep her reaching for the bit and not locking her back. I wonder what it looked like. Eventually one day I will remember to set up the video camera.

It appears she is getting more muscle in that hole area between the topline and her underneck. I don't know the terminology for that area, but I do know that is where she needs to be getting it, besides her topline (which I'm unconcerned with because it's built up consistently, whereas I've had a harder time getting her to release in the bridle enough to build the 2nd area up). That hole area is where they flex when working properly. I should post a picture. I hear pictures are worth 1000 words, but that could just be a vicious rumor.

I must confess something - I put knots in my reins. How sad is that? But I need them - 20 years of having loose fingers for skating has resulted in the major issue of not holding onto my reins well enough, thereby allowing La Resistance to gain some advantage over Enlightenment. So the knots serve 2 purposes. The first actually keeping the reins in one spot, the 2nd to make me aware of what's going on in the finger department. When you have La Resistance with a 1500lb advantage, Enlightenment needs all the help we can get.

Ah, Resistance, Thy Name is Nicole, March 23, 2007

I was feeling better yesterday about the mare's progress, because she felt better than she did on Wednesday, but this morning I'm irritated again. She apparently confuses dressage training with a Nazi invasion, and therefore building a resistance movement becomes necessary. Vive La Résistance.

Speed up, slow down, speed up, slow down. Rhythmically speaking, that is.

And it was about 80 yesterday, so going forward and pushing from behind into the bridle wasn't happening. Oh, and I wasn't allowed to use the whip, only my own two feet to urge her to push. Why feet and not calves, like any sensible rider would do? Because she wasn't listening to the calves. Unfortunately, my left leg doesn't work. She isn't normally like that but it was hot and she hasn't shedded out fully.

I'm in the "if they don't respond immediately to the leg, then smack 'em and send 'em forward" camp, for right or for wrong, but of course the trainer isn't. Partially, with Nic, I would prefer to use the whip because she shoots forward when hit hard (meaning anything harder than a little calf pressure) and with the whip it's easier to half halt her to recycle that energy as part of the going forward process because i'm not putting my body into a difficult-to-attain position (meaning, lifting the left leg up and hitting with it) then having to re-adjust myself to half halt her.

What can I say, I'm right handed, and that leg hasn't had to kick for most of my life (the right did the work thanks to skating). When you add a stiff back (La Résistance) to shooting forward and 80 degree weather, it's just not a pretty picture. Oh, yeah, add to that the full seat britches I had to wear (when you get up at 4:30am sometimes remembering the jeans goes out the window). How do you people ride in those things? I can't move around at all in them.

I've noticed she forms La Résistance after a hearty game of figure 8 (right lead canter-trot-left lead canter), which stinks, because that's one of her favorite games.

I'm hearing that the name of the resistance game is consistency on the part of the rider, and once i got that concept, things got easier. Sort of. As easy as it could get in 80 degree weather wearing full seat britches. Man, it was HARD adjusting (read: half halting) her with just my abs. They got tired pretty fast. Do recall that I had to make an adjustment (either tightening the abs or releasing them and the hips) every 2 strides or so. Go ahead and try it. Your abs will get tired fast too.

Well, Wednesday was a lot worse, (La Résistance and the Gestapo had quite the interlude), so maybe that means today will be back to normal. She was fine last weekend, before the rousing game of "Figure 8" we had on Tuesday.

Yesterday Good, Today Not So Good - March 21, 2007

Yesterday, not so good. Not really bad, but not listening very well. Monday was Nic's day off, and she's usually more stiff after her day off. We did a lot of trot-canter transitions, and she conned me into a counter canter. By conned I mean she didn't come down to a trot when asked on a figure 8. I figured if she wanted to try counter canter, who was I to stop her? Suprisingly (or not so), she listened better in counter canter, meaning she accepted half halts with less of a fight, probably because she doesn't have great balance and she's forced to depend on me more, rather than try to find ways to not work. I've also found, after riding many different horses, that counter canter, for some reason, gets horses more balanced.

Anyway, trot-canter transitions tend to get her excited; she really likes them. She's weird though.

About this not listening thing, the mare just needs to be reminded that she can't blow through the aids. She likes to surge ahead, instead of remaining within my aids. So we worked a lot on getting her to listen properly. I wasn't immensely successful, although she was listening better towards the end. If she isn't more on the aids today, a training ride may be in order. I'm sure she looked fine from the ground, because her MO is to look perfect from the ground, so everyone else thinks I'm crazy.

I'm signing us up for another show in May. If there are no more EHV-1 outbreaks in the near future, we should be set to show.

Ok, So What's the Point?

This maelstrom of writ and video does serve a purpose, I promise. Stay with me here. Last August, I achieved every 6 year old girl's dream and bought a pony of my very own.

Except, I bought an untrained horse with...oh...certain idealistic notions in mind that I was going to create a dressage horse out of the unmolded clay that is a plucky chestnut mare with loads of personality (pictured above).

This blog is the true story of my training adventures with Nic. Pull up a rug, it's story time, as the horse and I try hard to not kill each other as we meader down the Yellow Brick Road towards true dressage enlightenment. On the way, we meet such interesting characters as:

The Trainer (with something like 30 years of riding experience)

Bff Steph (the sage advisor who brings perspective to this training wonderland, with something like 20+ years of riding experience)

Mr. Sister (my sister, with 15+ years of riding experience)

The Old Biddy Club (those gifted arm chair experts with their opinions!, with questionable riding experience)

And More!

On a more serious note, this is an unvarnished view of my experiences with Nic and with training her. I attempt to be basically honest about how things are going, where I fall short, the pitfalls we experience, as well as our successes, in order to paint a true picture, regardless of how ugly, humiliating, sublime, or mundane the events may be. While it is tempting to save face, validation by other's opinions is unnecessary, so I'm going to let actual events stand as their own testimony.

I may be right sometimes, and other times I may be wrong - this blog is about presenting the whole picture, not a filtered representation.

Video - March 2007

March 2007

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2309382024791593693

Video - Feb 2007

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6979109769003115191

Nic's 3rd Videos - January 2007

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7922676174889159708

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2541786189151708178

Nic's 2nd Video - November 2006

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9105116305965942648

Nic's First Video

This link is to the first video I took of Nic when I tried her before I bought of her. The date on this video is August 2006.http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-281372086690087942

Ok, Round 2, Maat Vs. Blogger

Ok, not sure what happened with the first blog. Access errors due to my own stupidity, most likely. So, I'm giving this the ol' college try yet again, because much has gone on.