Nicole, Cocaine, and Existentialism: July 29, 2007

Dressage, in all its glory, can be whittled down to 2 ideas: The horse can be either straight or bent (such as when on a circle). With this in mind, the horse performs movements, either straight or bent, on either a straight line, a circle, or some variation thereof.

These Euclidean activities require the horse to possess a certain degree of flexibility that can be taught, but is easier to train if the horse is born with some inherent "bendability" (what dressage folks generally refer to as "suppleness"). Some horses are "conformationally challenged" (to be politically correct), some horses are just born to be twisted into pretzels and get their rocks off doing dressage, and some horses, like Nic, are born with a lot of flexibility, but require a little help to ease the tension to help bring out the best in them.

Nic's antics are what dressage society politely refers to as "athletic" and what the rest of the world refers to as "dang that militant beast of burden done lost her mind." After the last couple spooks, I've become somewhat concerned about the mare putting us into a position where someone could get hurt. Today's was a little too dangerous to not raise the concern flag. Sorry, I didn't get it on film, but refer to this clip for a sense:

Unlike my post of July 20, 2007, this is one of those situations where someone could get hurt, except it wouldn't be the rider's fault, and needs to be addressed. Spooks aside, no one wants to go through life filled with anxiety, and I'm guessing Nic feels the same way. Nic was on Quiessence between April and June, and took her off of it after Trainer's departure because I wondered if her more "athletic moments" were because of his training or instead due to some generalized anxiety disorder.

I think she feels better on the Quiessence, and certainly was more quiet during April, May, and June. I'm pairing it with Quietex because I already bought it, and having both won't kill her. Quietex and Quiessence are comprised of different ingredients, Valerian root (mostly) and magnesium (mostly), respectively. Using both may be overkill on the sedatives, but thrifty nonetheless.

To a mare, essence isn't a mainstay of existence; let's face it, horses don't care if they are dressage stars. Rather, a mare's view of the world can be summed up in 3 words: Mare, ergo sum. Anything else is just incidental.

Cute, and although perhaps correct in a karmic sense, this philosophy just doesn't really work in the dressage arena. The mare's sense of self-satisfaction can't rest on her existential laurels, but instead, needs to be based on the Dharma of Dressage: Strength and Relaxation. So, enter Quietex and Quiessence, stage right.

The Quietex I have acquired is reminiscent of a lovely bag of cocaine; in other words, a big unmarked bag of white powder. The irony of a calming supplement looking like a bag of coke (which has the opposite effect of a calming supplement) is overwhelming. I can see the practical jokes a mile away - for a good time, just place the bag in your buddy's car, call the cops, and let the fun unfold.

I've observed, in my overly-cogitative, punctilious sort of way, an interesting phenomena over the past couple weeks; it may have something to do with the lack of Quiessence in her system, or may just be a new quirk. Nic's right lead canter, especially, is becoming more contained. In other words, the mare is exhibiting some modicum of self-carriage. (That's not the phenomena, even if it is phenomenal). I've also observed (thank God for video) that when the canter is especially nice (rhythmic, soft, etc) is when the mare has a tendency to explode. (Refer to the above clip for an example.)

What gives? Any takers? Lula May suggested that the horse is reacting to the increase in the amount of work she has to do; to maintain that nice rhythmic canter, the horse has to expend more effort. Sounds logical to me.

Like Charity, Insanity Begins on the Funny Farm: July 23, 2007

Readers, I'm busting out of the equid closet. Pull up a rug, it's confession time. I've pussy-footed around the matter, lied to those who would get up my ass, and, after yesterday, I've decided to just bare all, knowing that I am in the right, regardless of popular opinion.

Let me start this entry by layin' it all on the line: Nic is worked every day. Yes, you heard that right, every SINGLE FARKIN' DAY (barring injury, of course). Your common, garden-variety horse owner wouldn't dream of riding their horse every day, so of course, from those not intimately acquainted with myself and Nic, I collect wagging fingers wherever I turn for this decision.

Oh why, oh why do I insist on such a rigorous routine, you ask?

I think this clip explains it all. It was taken after Nic got 2 days off:



In other words, if Nic isn't worked, suddenly dead people begin appearing in that window, with the sole intent to eat horses. (If there's one thing Trainer did teach me, out of all the negative, it's how to stick my butt to the horse. A year ago, I'd have gotten pitched.)

Just like charity, insanity begins at home (or the farm in this case). For those readers not personally acquainted with Nic, you need to understand how smart this horse is. I'm not blinded by maternal rose-colored lenses, by some need to satiate my own ego, or by sheer nuttiness.

A few months ago, I taught her to ask for treats by pushing her purple jolly ball. It took 3 tries before she understood the game, and despite not having repeated the task for months, she still recalls the game and its consequential fruits, and performs it without prompting. So, she has the striking ability to learn a task quickly and to retain that knowledge over the long haul.

Plain as toast in a WASP household, the horse's brain is constantly working overtime. When she doesn't get out and work, all that energy builds up, and comes out in self-destructive ways. She needs chronic challenging, or she loses her mind.

Nicole had both Friday and Saturday off to let her left hind heal. Yesterday, I made the mistake of not lunging her before I got on her, and the ride was a total waste of time. The whole ride was a lesson in staying calm and maintaining a steady rhythm in self carriage, a task at which I failed miserably. She spent the whole time inverting and pulling, a reminder of why we aren't showing currently. In situations like this, when my horse is an ass, and the heights of her high won't wither and reduce, I just pack it in and call it a day.

Now I feel better. Just teasing, I felt fine all along.

Pumpkins, Did You Bring Your Limes? Later that Day....July 20, 2007, 9pm

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Don't say I didn't call it - I said the 10m canter circles were too much, and they proved me right. Nic couldn't properly pick up her left hind today. She walked fine, but the dressage gods will be damned if the mare wasn't sore. There's good and bad to that, but I'll discuss that in a minute.

In the horse world, if things get out of hand, and someone gets hurt, it's considered to be "the rider's fault." Horses, with their brains the size of walnuts, and being in the care of humans, are not the "adult" in the situation, and as such, their humans are responsible for their safety and well-being. Well, pumpkins, things got out of hand, someone got hurt, and it's completely my fault.

I wish I videoed her today...

Ok, so now for the good born from the bad. Despite my "Grumpy Old Men" persona, I really am a "make lemonade out of lemons" person (even though I prefer limes). I'm taking the soreness to mean that she is using different muscles, and they are probably more the muscles I want her to use and build up.

So, we shall see what tomorrow brings. Maybe the dressage gods will smile upon us.

10 and 15m Canter Circles: July 20, 2007

Hey, y'all, remember when I could barely get a 20m circle in the indoor and it was taking my life in my hands?

It may not look it, but I know I'm getting somewhere because she actually held herself though the 10m, rather than flinging dirt everywhere from scrambling to balance herself.

I'm cooling it on the 10m for right now though, I think it's too much.

Evolution of the Photograph: Saving a Crappy One: July 19, 2007

It's still a crappy photo, but now it sure looks better.

Alright, it's fess up time: WHO has looked at BFF Steph's jumping video 15 times? That's more traffic than Nic gets! And it's not even linked to "Of Horses and Humans!"

With Special K out of the country, and BFF Steph going off to school, it's sure going to be lonely around here at least until Special K returns...sigh...I'm taking applications for the role of "sidekick" until Special K comes back. Any takers?

Nicole, Self-Portraits, and Dressage Today: July 18, 2007

Technically, all these photos are failures, but I challenge anyone who complains to do self-portraits with their horse without a remote shutter release. I got more exercise taking these than I did actually riding the mare.

I'm in a super bad mood today, so I'm going to vent for a second. I HATE the Lisa Wilcox clinic articles in Dressage Today. Too much of each article is centered on the rider's apparel. I'm not trying to be pedantic, but WHY can't the woman make more comments about the rider's position and how to improve the horse? I realize that there is only so much you can comment about in a photo, but lay off the rider's appearance already.

From an editorial perspective (which I believe I've earned some right to profess upon, having spent almost 10 years as a writer/editor), each article is just a regurgitation of the last - isn't there anything more constructive to say? Honey, don't you have more of your wealth of knowledge to impart on the horsey set than "wear gloves?"

It's obvious that the Lisa Wilcox Clinic articles are based on the George Morris Jumping Clinic articles in Practical Horseman. For those who aren't familiar with Morris's articles, he routinely discusses both the rider's and horse's appearance in these monthly articles. Since western civilization is founded on the borrowing of ideas, I can't find fault with Dressage Today for borrowing the ideas of Practical Horseman (especially since they are owned by the same company, Primedia Equine Network).

Dressage being the bluestocking-ed intellectual half-sister to Hunters, you'd think Dressage Today would want to put more theoretical thought into these brief discussions of the photos. Dressage people take pride in the fact that the sport is all about the improving the horse and the horse's movement, rather than just "sitting pretty," as it were.

The dressage rider, by nature of the sport, is SUPPOSED to be secondary; that's why we are supposed to move so little, why our competition outfits are so regimented and spartan. To harp on the rider's vêtements in each article runs counter to what dressage is really about - IMPROVING the HORSE.

Lord help us all of Lisa just gets paid a royalty for using her name and image while a ghost writer is the true author of these clinics. That would be even more of a disgrace.

It's perfectly fine for George Morris to spout off in Practical Horseman about appearances, since so much of Hunters is based on that, but, really, Lisa, we get the hint. Move on to something more educational. It's simply patronizing discussing turnout as much as you do.

Canter/Walk Transitions: July 17, 2007

Walk/Canter transitions:



Now, to remember to keep my hips open when I ask for them...

Canter comparison, February 2007 to July 2007:

Nicole, BFF Steph, and BFF Steph's Brief Myocardial Infarction: July 14, 2007

9:28 PM BFF Steph: :) how was your ride today

9:29 PM me: better

9:30 PM BFF Steph: who's your lesson with tomorrow?

me: Trainer

9:31 PM BFF Steph: ah. Trainer?!!!! are you shitting me?

me: no I’m serious
i called him today

9:32 PM BFF Steph: wow. what brought that on?

me: oh i dunno. that underneck muscle is getting smaller, so i think it needs a pro to build it back up again. he said he was sorry for making her do stuff that was too hard for her and for accusing her of being bad when she was merely unbalanced

BFF Steph: well didn't we think that he was part of the problem before
ahhh ok
just read the other part

me: yes and he apologized for all that and said he was wrong and that he isnt as good as he thought

BFF Steph: oook. wow dear. just be careful. this is such a volatile situation

me: what do you mean?
how is it volatile?

9:36 PM BFF Steph: how you two can fight that's all. just trying to minimize the drama but of course it's your choice

9:37 PM me: well you know how much i believe making her underneck muscle bigger is a top priority

9:38 PM BFF Steph: you mean smaller right?

me: and how much i believe forcing her into a frame is the proper method
no i want it bigger
strong like bull

BFF Steph: fight like chipmunk?

me: i'll be kind now
my lesson is with lula may

9:39 PM BFF Steph: you are a shit!!!!

me: HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

BFF Steph: you had me. DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

me: i cant believe you took me seriously
i so had you

BFF Steph: yeah you did. I was floored

me: i thought about dragging it out and seeing if you'd ask him how my lesson with him went tomorrow but i want to talk to you about the video and i have the feeling you would have left soon if i had kept you believing me

BFF Steph: ROFL
I honestly thought you were off your rocker
but I was going to try and be supportive
:p

me: do you really think he would ever admit any wrongdoing with nic?
anyway, do you think she showed better movement today?

9:42 PM BFF Steph: yeah a little bit. she was carrying more weight on her hocks but still needs to come through more. I say this of course fully aware that I sound like a broken record and you need to feel her out on a daily basis to see what she can give you

9:43 PM me: yeah. in the beginning, she felt like she was going through more willingly
i think moving the saddle made a difference because when i went from posting to sitting, her head didnt move, meaning she didnt tense her back

BFF Steph: she is. just keeping heading in that direction
yeah. that's a good sign
her head shouldn't move
ok. I'm starting to get over my coronary

me: and it was easier to compress her then lengthen her. im not saying she took more weight onto her hocks, just that she was more responsive
more supple i guess you could say
what did your blood pressure go through the roof?
did Mr. BFF Steph have to get the smelling salts?

BFF Steph: a little. because I figured you’d be bitching to me about that decision in a couple of weeks
:)

me: oh i see. its ALL about you

BFF Steph: ROFL
but of course!!!
:)

Nicole, Lateral Work, and the Anti-Movement Movement: July 13, 2007

Horse people truly are a strange breed of human. As the movers and shakers of the livestock industry, we've built a glamorous Cult of Beauty out of what essentially equates to the daily farm work practiced by the everyday rustic. As horsepeople, we've gone for the Trifecta of the looney bin: In no other social microcosm would you find such pillers of society as doctors and lawyers discussing feed composition like prophets or romanticing stall cleaning into the rites of priests. To the rest of the world, it's shit shoveling, but for us, it's the work of soothsayers.

Since it's been hot this week, and since last Sunday I almost fainted from sun exposure, I've been riding in the indoor. The fine layer of dust I manage to accrue in the indoor does nothing for my pores, and it appears this week I've had the dubious choice between re-experiencing heat stroke or acquiring black lung disease.

Yesterday's ride was probably the dullest I've experienced, and how I managed to fill an hour just walking remains one of those mysteries of the ages. In reality, I think I worked her too hard on Wednesday, so yesterday we worked on lateral work at the walk. I'm tired of shoving her through leg yields, so making her more sensitive to those aids (and consequently, making me think hard about where I'm putting my weight) seemed in order anyway. In general, I'm tired of moving as much as I am on the horse - it's too much effort and it's too hot to ride that way. The hands need to stay in one place and the horse needs to respond to quieter aids. Finis.

I'm starting a different kind of movement as a protest against moving too much while on the horse. I'm calling it the "anti-movement movement." With dressage riders already staging sit-ins on horses throughout the world, I'm sure the movement will be quick to catch on.

I did about 5 min of trot work at the end, and here are the results:

If the lateral work doesn't exactly bring tears to the eyes, the dust cloud kicked up certainly will.

Meanwhile, I figured out an easy way to braid her mane quickly and more professional-looking. Thank God, because there was no way I was going to go through braiding again using the same methods as I had in the past. WHY do the kids at the old barn (hereafter referred to as "R") sew in braids? It's unnecessary (see, this is how they get you in the Cult of Beauty).

Yet Another Mare Moment: July 9, 2007

Brought to you by Nicole:

That sound you heard was BM shutting, not slamming, shutting, her car door. So, this is what dressage people refer to as "electric," right?

At least Nic doesn't commit the 8th deadly sin of being terribly boring.

Nicole, Ferris Bueller, and the Grinnin' Fool: July 6, 2007

Question: Why do flies exist? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Comparing Stretchy Circles: July 5, 2007

So the heroine of "Of Horses and Humans," meaning Nic, has had diarrhea for the past 24 hours thanks to the quite considerate neighbors next to the farm. I guess the fireworks they were setting off didn't agree with her, and as soon as I arrived at the farm today, as soon as I stepped out of my car, she stuck her head out of her window, and made the grunting noise which effectively means "thank God you're here," and pretty much crawled in my lap for the remainder of our visit (except when she tried to take a piece of me as I put on a side rein).

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say something that will forever mark me as a crazy lady: I swear when the horse has a problem, I have the same problem. I swear, I spent all last night with the worst belly ache. I've had menstrual cramps the same day the mare has cramps from being in heat. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Some people are gelding people, and some people are mare people, and then there's people like me that take it all one step further and internalize their horse's pain.

I wanted to take a moment to compare stretchy circles taken from 2 different periods of time.

May 11, 2007:



July 4, 2007:

The difference is obvious. I've noticed upon reviewing older videos that Nic had a lot more impulsion before I made her slow down and relax. However, that impulsion came from being tense and rushing, and was effectively uncontrollable, as evidenced in the stretchy circle dated May 11, 2007.

However, one of the best parts of Nic is how she can be very electric, so now the task is to figure out how to regain that impulsion while ensuring the mare stays relaxed and carries herself. I'll be damned if I know how to do that, but a month ago I was damned if I knew how to slow her down and make her relax. Any takers want to help solve this dilemma?

Nicole, Bapu, and the International Symbol of Peace: July 4, 2007

Reader, I promise you that I don't set out to compare dressage to Eastern influences, but yet again, my mind has drawn such a correlation. We've discussed in the past the "Dharma of Dressage" as being relaxation and strength. Along with this, I would like to examine the idea of passive resistance.

While passive resistance is by no means an idea of Eastern origin, it did, however, enter my thoughts as a result of my readings about our good buddy, Mohandas Ghandi (affectionately known as Bapu, or "father"), and his use of passive resistance first in South Africa, and later to help his native India achieve independence from the British Empire (I almost typed Imperial Empire :-).

I made the oblique connection between Gandhi and dressage while teaching Nic to rein-back. In his book, De Kunffy explains that the rider must not use the reins actively to make the horse step back; instead, the reins are to remain passive, yet blocking any forward movement.

Gandhi supported the use of passive resistance against the British because he understood that the Empire's forces were more powerful than India's, and that India just wouldn't win against a stronger force. Similarly, and most obviously, a horse is physically much stronger than a person. As such, using force against the horse is just silly; using passive resistance to show the horse what the rider wants is more effective.

Unless the horse is being an ass, most corrections in dressage are about passive resistance - make the right response easy for the horse, and the wrong response harder for the horse. When attempting to teach Nic not to rush and instead swing her back and maintain the same tempo, instead of holding her back (which produced no effect except a huge underneck muscle), I made it easier for her to maintain the same tempo by making the exercise harder if she rushed. In other words, if she rushed, she had to push on a 10m circle or in a 5 loop serpentine until she calmed down, in which case we resumed on a larger circle. Voila, passive resistance in effect.

The result? A much more peaceful horse that adheres to the Dharma of Dressage. To that end, I'm adding the notion of passive resistance to our ever-growing treatise The Equestrian.

To update from my last post (July 1st) in which I discussed Nicole's bracing in downward transitions. In his book, De Kunffy states that when making a down transition from canter to trot, half halt the horse by increasing the aids already in use and inviting the horse's forehand to slow down. I knew this, but lets face it, in the thick of things, I just wasn't doing this. So, I've reapplied this knowledge, and lo and behold, we got 2 down transitions in which Nic didn't brace. They weren't pretty, but she did hold herself. Her canter is becoming more balanced as well.

I had a lesson with Lula May last Saturday in which we started Nic on counter canter. It took her about 5 tries before she got it. Here are the results:

It seems a wayward white dove (pictured left) has taken residence up at the barn. This international symbol of peace has been named Greta, and will henceforth go down in farm history, along with Tipsy the cat, the "tackroom toads," and the snake that climbs up the indoor arena walls.

I think her appearance is appropriate given that Nic and I now reside at a dressage barn (which is all about harmony), our new-found attitude, and that it's Independence Day.

Turns on the Haunches, Rein-Backs, and Bugs Up the Butt, Oh My!: July 1, 2007

<------I've been reading this book to help with downward transition issues. Nic's been bracing, so I wanted some insight into how I could better aid the downward transition.

Attempts at turn on the haunches:

Nicole's first rein-back:

I wanted her to learn the rein-back because it's required at higher level tests, but, more importantly, because, in my experience, it's a great way to get the horse pushing off their hocks. It also adds something new to our repertoire of movements, and because we now have an additional thing to incorporate into the ride, the rides can be more interesting for all involved. It took her about 1/2 hour and maybe 5 attempts to understand the concept. I couldn't include all the attempts on the clip because some occurred off-camera, and all you hear is me screaming "good girl!" I think Nicole found the experience insightful, thought-provoking, and quite better than a poke in the eye. I mean, who DOESN'T love going backwards?

Of course, it wasn't all smooth sailing. Some bug flew up Nic's skirt yesterday, and she spooked plenty. Nicole's not-so-first mare moments:

I bought a pair of side reins from Dover. I'd been borrowing Lula May's for the past week. DHL said they are to arrive today, so I hope they are at the barn when I get there. Lula May told me to try spiral in/spiral out on the longe line, but I need the side reins first.