Nicole, Cows, and Puccini: December 25, 2007

Christmas Day, 2007

The inevitable has happened. I don’t mean the second coming of Christ, or snowfall on Christmas pines, or that Steven Spielberg has produced yet another Oscar winner. Rather, I speak of the inevitable event that has happened to every equestrian since the dawn of domesticating horses. To wit: getting bucked off.

This event marks a milestone in the relationship of every horseperson and every horse, and certainly in my relationship with Nicole, since this is the first time I have been removed unwillingly from her back. No equine relationship is solid until the rider finds their ass in the dirt, hopefully not too worse for the wear. Obviously, since I am writing this, I’m none too damaged by the event, and, in fact, had a premonition it would happen today.

Of course, Nicole being Nicole, this was not just a “crow-hop, oh the rider is in the dirt, whatcha doin’ down there?” sort of event. Oh no. Nicole’s style is nothing so subtle, innocent, or mundane. Rather, Nicole, as the mercurial diva of the barn, must execute a bucking incident in the maestoso grandeur of a Puccini aria, complete with giggly-school-girl-at-recess antics after that would appeal to the horsey perspective.

Because our last few rides had been punctuated by “scary door spooks,” I decided working outside in the field was in order, since no scary doors adorn the fields. Really, this was for her own benefit, as our rides inside were taking an hour longer than they had to because of tension, and I’m sure Nicole has been quite sore. I wanted to see how she would fare outside, and today I was able to end the ride after a ½ hr.

(Aside: We are still successful with relaxation and looseness since the Walter Zettl clinic. The issue is that going to the right, she tenses up as we get closer to the scary door, which interrupts her relaxation and looseness. I was told that when she tenses up, to circle her. While this works wonders going to the left, refocusing her and reminding her to bend, going to the right, this has resulted in, at times, 15 straight minutes of circling because she can’t get by the door without tensing up until she realizes she will have to work harder if she is tense. Overall, however, it has decreased the amount and length of tension going to the right, for example, instead of being tense the entire way down the long side, she is now only tense the first few feet in front of the scary door, so it is effective, but it will take longer to get her away from the habit of tensing up around the scary door.)

So began our ride, calmly, and in a pastoral setting altogether congruous with a Christmas Day ride. In this pastoral setting we sighted horses (obviously) and sheep, the type of beasts that mythically attended the birth of the newborn king, along with, oh yes, cows. Cows!

For those who don’t know, many horses are afraid of cows. Who knows why, probably because they are a massive entity that the horse can’t identify in their horsey-rolodex of friendly beasts, and of course, that means it will probably be a horse-eating cow, and better run away fast.

You’re probably thinking that this is where Nicole threw her bucking tantrum, but no. Nicole, in her own right, isn’t really afraid of cows, just excited by them, and definitely interested in what they were doing. After all, cows are MUCH more interesting than dressage. The gaggle of Holsteins, just as interested in Nicole, swarmed and shoved their way amongst each other to the fence line like socialites at a Chanel sample sale, a-mooin’ and a-cud chewin’, to gawk over the fence at the pretty mare that had come onto scene.

No dressage was going to happen as each species wondered if the other was going to attack them, and in the end, the cows went a-mooin’ and a-cud chewin’ away, flitting (as well as cows can flit) into another part of their pasture to avoid the cow-eating mare. Incidentally, this is how I know the horse isn’t the lunatic people think she is—she took the cows in stride, and the cows were more afraid of her than she was of them.

So, on to work, or so I thought. I don’t know if it was the fact that the cows got to relax in the sunshine and she didn’t, or the fact that there was a stallion within proximity, or the fact that she just plain didn’t feel like working today, but yours truly committed one of the 7 Deadly Sins of Riding, leaning too far forward in the saddle, and Nicole took full advantage of the situation, producing back-cracking, rodeo-style bucks, which, inescapably, bought me a one way ticket to the dirt. At least the ground was soft.

Because Nicole is never boring, perhaps undignified at times, but certainly never boring, she wouldn’t do something as simple as just dumping the rider and waiting until the rider is remounted. Instead, in an exploit worthy of a 5 year old child, she decided to run away towards her horsey friends, gallivanting with the geldings, who, just as jovial and mischievous as their feminine counterpart, took great fun in helping her celebrate her act of the “nyah-nyah you can’t catch me” variety.

Because situations like this require the rider to conduct herself with great dignity, instead of schvitzing myself trying to catch up with her, which of course is what she wanted, I instead chose to follow her at a leisurely pace. Everyone knows that I don’t run unless there is great inducement. Why would I run when I can ride a horse? Because human beings have brains 10 times the size of horses, but horses can certainly run 10 times faster than I, I wasn’t going to wear myself out chasing a beast of burden, but instead, wait until she invariably made some sort of mistake, allowing me to trap her.

Of course, after dodging me on 2 other occasions with her red tail flagging insolently, and not letting me within 10 feet of her, Nicole eventually made a strategic error in her recess from dressage, and lodged herself in an open space about 6 feet wide between two paddocks, one of which is her regular turnout paddock. Of course in her horsey-sized brain she figured that now she could go back to relaxing in the sun, eating grass, and being a mare.

I mentioned earlier that there was a stallion within Nicole’s proximity, and one of the paddocks she lodged herself between contained the stallion. No, it’s not as bad as you are thinking, but there is a twist to this story that had me close to vomiting for reasons that are not obvious.

The previous night, December 24th, I had a dream about Nicole, which is odd because although I dream frequently, this is the first time I’ve dreamed about Nicole that I can remember. In this dream, Nicole became pregnant accidentally, and produced a foal.

I cannot say what provoked this dream, but it was still heavy on my mind when I got to the barn and realized a stallion was turned out at the same time as Nicole (although they were very far away from each other and there was no reason for concern) and most certainly was on my mind as Nicole cavorted with said stallion. I’d already had premonitions that I was going to be dumped, and absolutely did not want to have the pride of saying my dream augured the conception of a foal on Christmas Day regardless of how handsome each parent is.

So, I broke my “no running” rule, and, doing my impression of Flash from “The Incredibles” booked it to the opening of the space between the two paddocks, spreading my arms wide so as to make Nicole realize there was no way out.

In an act of brilliance (oh I have such a smart mare), Nicole, realizing her error, considered making a final mad dash for freedom, and probably would have done so if she had not caught her reins on one of the posts, immobilizing herself better than I could have done myself. Of course, being a mare, she had to express her dissatisfaction at being caught by bucking at the stallion who so rudely (from her perspective) invaded her space, not considering that the world doesn’t revolve around her, and it was actually she who invaded the stallion’s space. But, of course, this is how it is with all beautiful women. They are never the invaders, but, rather the invaded.

And thus ended Nicole’s glorious release from dressage, and despite her tribute to high Greek tragedy (she done Sophocles proud), was quietly returned to schooling until she was loose and bending better to the right.

December 18, 2007

Something that has been hard for me to reconcile is the understanding that trainers, with their knowledge more vast than my own, still can be limited in their desire to see beyond the immediate and obvious. I suppose everyone in some way exhibits that quality, but when you look to trainers for advice, and receive advice that is inconsistent with the evidence in front of you, with no logical explanation for the difference, the discrepancy is unnerving to say the least. I'm a person that looks at an issue from every angle, weighing the raw data as well as the possibilities one can postulate based on that data.

As an undergraduate, the first educational lessons I received taught me that Truth, and Truth’s bastard child, Opinion, are spider webs—silken, sticky, dangerous as a double-edged sword, as scarce and transparent as the Hope diamond, yet ephemeral and easily torn down. I struggled for a while with this concept and its subsequent conclusion which is that we really know nothing for certain.

When receiving advice from trainers, it’s tempting to hide in opinion’s heroin embrace. After all, you trust your trainer’s knowledge, and it’s easier than thinking for yourself. But the sense of insecurity that derives from the conclusion that opinion is a matter of perspective forces one to look at concrete evidence to maintain sanity. Unfortunately, opinion is as a rainbow—a multi-colored image resulting from intangible light (trainer’s knowledge) reflecting off tangible water (the horse), forever seared into one’s view of rainstorms so that forgetting it is impossible, but still just an image that is never permanent.

It's been hard for me to reconcile that there are trainers out there who talk a good game, but when push comes to shove, and you look under the shiny veneer of their words, you see that sometimes there really isn't much tangible substance to their opinions at all. Over the past year, I've learned to actively question the advice I receive about Nicole, compare it to the gospel of the great masters, and, ultimately, look to the horse to tell me if the advice holds water. This is why the trainer who regurgitates from books basically holds no esteem with me, regardless of background; I can read also, and they aren't saying anything I can't discern on my own (this doesn't apply to those trainers universally agreed upon as being a master, since they wrote the book, so to speak).

Part of my absence from this blog has been because I've been trying to make sense about the varying opinions I have received regarding Nic. Her talent hasn't been up for debate; every trainer I have taken Nicole to has agreed that she is talented. What has been questioned, however, is how far her temperament will allow her to go. Relaxation being the key to successful dressage, and with Nicole lacking relaxation, I've received varying opinions about her ability to become an FEI horse, and over the past couple weeks have sought to resolve my own opinion about the matter.

This week I took Nicole to a clinic with Walter Zettl to seek his opinion on Nicole. You will recall that Mr. Zettl has seen Nicole in the past, and has given me a favorable opinion of her abilities. What I did not ask him in the past, however, is how he feels her temperament will affect her ability to progress up to the highest levels of dressage. I made sure to ask this time, including information about her age and temperament, and he again gave me a favorable opinion of her abilities, citing that her temperament will be the better for more training, and her age has nothing to do with her ability to progress.

Most importantly, however, he gave us some exercises to help loosen Nicole up, which in turn helps her suppleness. I repeated those exercises, and although Nic was a little over tempo, I had more success with her being loose in her muscles than I have had in the past few weeks. She displays more swung, and as a consequence, her tension has subsided.

One of my biggest issues with Nic is my tendency to default to cramming her between the reins and her hind end; in other words, not letting the energy flow through her. I blamed it, the past few months, on her tension, and claimed that she built a wall that made it hard to recycle that energy.

My past assertion was just wrong. This isn't to say that her tension doesn't contribute to building a wall, however, my approach to eliminate that tension just was not correct. Mr. Zettl said that when the horse is tense, give the reins. I was willing to do as he said in our lesson, but didn't really believe that if I gave the reins, the horse wouldn't spook every time she got the chance. Well, she didn't spook, and I realized, looking at the video, that when something bothered her, she looked at it for a few seconds, then went back to work. The next day, around the scary door in the indoor, she looked a little longer, but the video showed that it was for no more than 2-3 strides.

The difference is this: she didn't get less nervous about the scary door, but once she was done looking at it, she was loose again. She stopped holding that tension in, as she was doing before.

I also realized the past couple weeks that she is doing much better as far as tension goes. Nicole hasn't had any real mare moments since we moved, and at the clinic we had none, even though she previously had many at that barn. I described Nicole to Mr. Zettl and the auditors as being a spooky horse, however, the mare made a liar out of me, and displayed few signs of being tense at all.

Since this clinic, I’ve been trying to resolve just WHY one trainer sees Nic as a liability and yet another perceives her as an asset, and why the evidence I see that her mind is trainable isn’t obvious to everyone. Nicole, although older, is a horse in her 2nd year of training—basically a 4 year old horse both physically and mentally. The FEI 4 year old test is effectively a Training/First level test. The FEI Young Horse tests are for gifted horses; some will successfully be able to perform that test, but most will not. Using the young horse tests as a guide, one can determine that it’s expected that a horse like Nicole, while probably not gifted, is only expected to be at Training/First level, which means 15m canter circles, 10m trot circles, and lengthenings.

Viewed through this lens, it’s hard to expect too much out of her training-wise. Most horses at her level of training, although younger, are just coming into their own. She is in the adolescence of her training, if you will. I’m the first to forget this, believe me, yet it seems others, with broader experiences, forget it also. I don’t know why.

December 10, 2007

It's been a while. Basically, the changes that have been taking place have been so subtle and, dare I say, monotonous, that making note of them would put the reader to sleep. I've decided to start working with Nic more on her canter, as she is getting more through at the trot. This decision has been met with some, oh, shall we say, lack of enthusiasm on her end. The mare has expressed her opinion by inverting and stiffening.

I've decided, as well, to have a masseuse look at her, because sometimes she stiffens her right side to such an extent that she is just unsupple in that direction. If there is any back pain, the masseuse will find it, and if she finds nothing, then I can look to an alternate source causing her stiffness.

Reason dictates that this stiffening is just a growing pain coupled with the cold weather we've been having lately. She also has expressed signs of being in heat, which is odd given that all the world is dead from the cold, but since she is perpetually surrounded by stallions (very nicely behaved ones at that), I suppose it's inevitable.

Actually, re-reading my first paragraph, it really isn't fair to say that she is inverting and stiffening at the canter. That's not exactly what's going on. She, in my opinion, seems lovely to the right, and in both directions, actually does accept half halts fairly well. It's just that sometimes her nose is a little too far in front of the vertical going to the left and it's clear on the video that she isn't recycling her energy as well going to the left.

Yesterday we worked on 15m canter circles, and I'm surprised at how much effort it takes her to collect even that little bit. However, I remember a time, not so long ago, when I couldn't even steer her into a 15m canter circle (even a crappy one). Around last August, we went through this phase where she wasn't on the outside rein AT ALL going to the left. Asking her to create a smaller circle was impossible. Now, although they aren't always in good balance and aren't always completely through, it takes much less effort to ask for the smaller circle.

I also remember a time (as I'm sure you do as well) when we couldn't get a decent upward transition into the canter. Now, that's basically a given, and I've been told by this new trainer that her canter transitions are "very correct."

I'd say one of the bigger improvements, especially with regards to the canter, is that she does less pulling than before, and more staying on her hocks. I guess the best term is to say she is less "strung out."

Nicole, Girth Hell, and the Atlantic Tides at Normandy: November 16, 2007

When I got Nicole, I remember distinctly saying to myself "I'm not going to have a pansy-fragile-flower horse, she's going to be tough."

Ha, was that ever a delusion. As the fates would have it, I have a fragile butterfly. Nic is now off for a couple days because of a girth sore. This horse has more skin problems than I've ever seen in my life. She's on flax because of excessive dry skin; pre-flax, I would brush her and large flakes of dandruff would emerge, as grandiose and consistent as the Atlantic tides on the sand at Normandy.

She spent most of the summer scratching her belly against the ground, so that sores would appear and remain for weeks. Now that the summer is over, so is the scratching.

Currently, we are in girth hell. Nothing seems to keep her from developing these sores, and one has appeared on her belly and has direct contact with her girth. I started her with a leather girth, which aggravated an already-existent sore on her side (a little added feature when I bought her).

Enter fleece-covered elastic girth stage right, which created this current sore in less than 2 weeks. Rope girths aren't an option.

We shall try a neoprene girth next. I wish these things came in actual bodysuit material because the neoprene is too similar to plastic for my tastes.

November 9, 2007

An interesting phenomenon has occurred, which I feel deserves the undivided attention of its own post. 6 months ago I wouldn't have guessed this would occur.

Since I began slowing Nic down and making her more drivable, the mare has become, as expected, more drivable. This vehicular similarity has started to cause her to raise her withers a little, and maybe one day we'll actually start to see some shoulder freedom.

Unexpectedly, however, she has become more drivable and balanced at a faster rate at the canter than at the trot. She is softer in the mouth, and responds to quieter aids and I'm starting to feel some consistent relaxation, which wasn't there a month ago. Downward transitions are still an issue, because, however nice she is in the up transition and in the actual canter, she still braces on the down transition.

At the trot she isn't as through as nicely, and still hangs on the bit. She isn't as willing to raise her back, but a new friend showed me another way to longe her, the method to which Nic has taken a liking. The method involves taking the longe line and running it through the saddle's billet straps, on the inside of her circle, like a sort of third side rein. Nic stretches much better in this sort of contact and actually seeks the bit. The other advantage is when her attention goes elsewhere, I have an easy way to half halt her to get her attention back on me. I'm starting to think, however, that the massage therapist should be called to see if there is some sort of muscle issue in her back.

It appears as if she is starting to grow some more muscle on her withers, although I could just be imagining it.

On another note, she stopped shying at the corners of the arena with the doors (as in my last post) now that I have shut them. I think that's contributing to some of her new found relaxation (not that she's really relaxed, but is more so than before I shut those doors).

Nicole, ROI, and the Incidental Love Child: November 4, 2007

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. - Oscar Wilde

Being a quintessential American, and therefore a die-hard believer in free-market economies, I tend to look at the world with a capitalist sensibility. While dressage functions in its own solar system and typically is ill-suited for this mindset on many different levels, I regard my time with Nicole with the same concern for return on investment as Ol' John Pierpont Morgan did for his banking conquests.

The sport of dressage, being the incidental love child of the European aristocracy and the armed forces, really doesn't lend itself to the capitalist mentality for 3 reasons. Primo, capitalism in its purest form is sustained by the free thinker. Since historically neither the aristocracy nor the armed forces approve of "thinking outside the box," dressage was not born to promote the rugged individualism that sustains a free-market economy. The standard dressage uniform proves my point.

I'd like to say that this is because there's nothing new under the training sun, but in reality I think it's because dressage, like all sports, fosters a dependence on the teacher, so that the student generally doesn't feel comfortable outside of the feudal norm to make their own decisions (whether we want to admit it or not). Having participated in several sports, I feel comfortable asserting that this isn't unique to dressage, but rather typical across the athletic board.

Secundo, dressage is the only sport that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. What began as a method to better enable one to slaughter enemies soon became the playground of the well-heeled, creating a sort of distorted monetary inflation in the equus sense. Once you've participated in dressage, your view of financial reality becomes somewhat altered. When you buy a dressage horse, you basically buy it for pleasure (i.e., sentimentalism), and any sort of financial conservatism tends to go out the window with the bathwater.

Poor Johnny Boy Morgan would turn over in his grave at the cost of horsecare, training, and shows; the ardent capitalist wouldn't approve of this sort of willy-nilly spending unless they were the seller. When you own a dressage horse, somehow it becomes reasonable to buy $20 oil to supplement your horses feed; hearing friends complain about their $1600 air ticket to India makes your eyes roll, because that was, after all, how much you spent on board and training last month; and spending $20,000 on what's effectively a pet is considered cheap.

Tertio, capitalists judge everything by "return on investment." There's an old joke that goes like this: "How do you make a small fortune in the horse business? Start with a large fortune." Horses in general just don't lend themselves to any sort of return on investment except in terms of intangibles, such as pleasure or pride. It's quite rare to actually make money on a horse; most money is made on training and lessons, which is mostly based on human labor. Any sane capitalist would regard the horse business with a jaundiced eye and avoid it like the Black Plague.

However, with regards to Nicole's training I consider return on investment very important. One of the mare's quirks is an extreme anxietal reaction to any sort of open doorway. (Note, we don't have any of these issues when schooling outside in a ring or in a field). Whether walking in hand or actually training in saddle, she tends to shy away violently from open doorways. At this new barn, this means that we can only use 2/3rds of the arena, as her particular issue with with a doorway at one end of the arena. I don't think I need to explain how ridiculous it is to only use 2/3rds of an arena.

I'm done with trying to train it out of her - the time spent making her comfortable with open doorways is time I could be spending on something more valuable, like working on balance and transitions, or God forbid, myself. Additionally, we are unlikely to be in a competition setting where an open doorway comes into play; most shows are outside.

Most importantly, however, I see it as a never-ending cycle; as soon as I get her comfortable with the doorway, someone (or some cat) will appear, and we will be back to square one. If someone else wants to take a shot at training this out of her, then have at it, but I think it's pointless. Instead, I plan to just close doors as I can, and hopefully she will forget that there ever was an opening in the wall altogether. I did so yesterday, and she was marginally better after a few rotations around the ring.

Perhaps someone with more time and patience could train her out of it, and to that guy I take my hat off. But I think the return on that investment is too little compared to the other things I can work with her on. J.P. Morgan would be proud.

The Year in Review: November 2, 2007

November 2, 2007

Yesterday I felt the beginnings of some looseness at the canter. It felt as if she was finally starting to reach for the bit, rather than just holding herself in a frame. It felt as if we could finally start having some sort of conversation at the canter. I've included 2 videos below; they are of the same sequence, but I slowed one down because it's hard to get a sense of anything in the first video because it happens so fast.

The thing about these videos is the canter looks worse than it has in previous videos. She appears more on her forehand, and less on the vertical. The canter is better not because it looks good, but because she is responding in a more conversational manner. I can fix the rest of it easily once she starts to consistently relax in the canter.

Original:



Slowed down:

Nicole, The Lowdown, and All I Didn't Want to Know: October 30, 2007

Last Friday, as the East Coast was deluged, the barn lost electricity. Most farms in this area are not on the town water lines; instead, they pump water from wells, and, significantly, use electricity to pump water. So, not only did the barn lose electricity, we also lost plumbing.

To the rest of the world, this is a minor inconvenience, but to horse people, this loss is more intense. The new barn leaves horses 10 gallons of water to last them overnight (2 5-gallon buckets); multiply by 10 horses, and that's 100 gallons of water that must be found somehow. Which is how I found myself, dripping wet, collecting rainwater for Nicole, and in the midst of this all-too-appropriate setting, through the simple conversations that open the golden gates to womens' psyche, I got to know my new barn mates and trainer better.

The horse world truly is a microcosm of the world at large, except the emotions of the world become more operatic and concentrated within the equine milieu. In other words, the intrigues and happenings in the horse world are the stuff that the rest of the world gets to watch on “COPS;” horse people, however, experience these extremes first-hand, founding a general status quo of Jerry Springer proportions. This is why instead of hearing: “I love my mare,” you hear horse people utter: “oh my God in Heaven, I love my mare.” See the difference in emotional weight given to the same sentiment?

Not only is this because the horse world is gravid with estrogen, but is, more precisely, due to the female population's persistent need to over-analyze everything. When women gather in large numbers, they are overwrought by the adolescent desire for validation; from thus is born Agamemnon for the horsey set.

In all my business dealings, in my interactions with the horse world, and with my social circles, I've found this to be a uniquely female experience. And like army buddies that survive wars together, it's during these times that I learn the lowdown and all I didn't want to know about the various players in my social circle.

While the rest of the world sees a rainstorm as the opportunity to lay off the yard work, the horse population deems it auspicious to strut and fret in their production of “Analyze Your Trainer.” Having partaken in this soap opera many times in the past, I am familiar with the proceedings, and simply declaring “It was Professor Plum in the library with a kitchen knife!” won't get you very far. Once “Analyze Your Trainer” starts, you have to finish it, however much you pray for it to be over.

The central scene of “Analyze Your Trainer” involves women who expect personal validation from their trainers. If they don't receive it, they have to analyze why, convinced subconsciously that their trainer's really their spouse, parent, or preacher in disguise, and that they are owed some level of undue attention. And the poor trainer is left holding emotional baggage of the feminine kind.

As this fiery production wages on, it hits its zenith in a fine melodramatic aria: the invalidation of the trainer, their credentials, their goals, and their lives. It’s here, dear reader, that the rubber hits the road, and as passion overrides emotional boundaries, I learn more than I ever wished.

And I’m left wondering “who cares?”

Nicole, Perspective, and "The Chi of Dressage": October 24, 2007

I've been absent for a while because I've been trying to sort out how I want to refer to the new barn/trainer, but have yet to make a decision. So, I'll just briefly discuss what we've been working on.

Nic and I had our first lesson last week, and the main focus was just slowing the mare down. Perspective is a funky concept, because it's based on the viewer's point of reference. If you ask 10 people what happened in an accident, you will likely get 10 different variations of the truth. Even the video camera shows a different perspective depending on where it's placed in the arena.

Because I'm used to "the way Nic is," it just didn't really occur to me that her tempo is too fast. In short, her tension lulled me into a status quo that possibly is just left of correct. On the other hand, the casual viewer doesn't realize that this too-fast tempo is much improved over her way of going last spring.

However, when urged to slow her down, I felt the difference. The horse actually became more "driveable." (To my non-dressage readers: If your horse is more "driveable," that means they are easier to control, easier to balance, and therefore easier to ride.) The idea we were shooting for is to make Nic "so slow I had to urge her forward with my leg." This was achieved through the seat, i.e., just sitting more still and putting more weight in my seatbones as if my intention was to halt her. The sense that there is now some sort of elasticity to my horse is amazing.

The other result of this, and an unexpected one at that, is that I feel I am starting to attain a greater sense of balance in my seat. Because the drivability of the horse and balance of the rider's seat are the Chi of dressage, if either's off, then your Chi is off, and you just got a big ol' mess you have to contend with.

Basically, the whole point was to work on Nic and her tension issues, which really stand in the way of achieving anything right now. I mean, there is good tension, and that has its place, but Nic's tension gets in the way of her training sometimes. She's definitely had moments this week (you didn't know motorcycles ate horses, did you?) but overall she feels more on the aids and less as if she's gunning for the title of "First Triple Crown Winner Since Seattle Slew."

Recidivism being the antithesis of evolution, it's nice to know that we have a trainer (and the omnipresent and ever-objective video camera) to keep us in line.

Nicole, Inter-Species Language Barriers, and Lead Changes: October 14, 2007

My freaking head is killing me. Either it's the pollen, or my lousy riding.

Nicole wouldn't talk to me today when I got to the barn. As soon as she saw me coming for her (she was turned out), she turned and ran the other direction. There's some inter-species communication for you. I guess "screw you, you bitch" transcends all language barriers.

Wintergreen Life Savers came to my rescue, however, and after Nicole realized she was getting paid for her efforts today, I had my best friend back. Nothing like a little manipulation.

By the by, I had a trainer a few weeks ago literally roll his eyes when I told him I used treats to train my horse, and that it helped a lot (Special K knows who I speak of), and the dude looked at me like I flew down from Mars and tried to take over the Federal Reserve. Hey, would you do your job without getting paid? So why should Nicole?

Here's a clip from today, the first and only lead change we did today:



Yeah, I know it sucks, but I wasn't going to push it. Lead changes are hard right now for her, and I wanted to make sure she remembered the concept, not put forth a beautiful work of art. Enjoy.

October 13, 2007

If Nicole possessed a middle finger, she surely would have flipped me the bird today. We worked on flying lead changes, and I should have stopped after getting 2, but alas, dear reader, I stupidly trudged onward, and I was wrong to do so.

This was one of those instances where I failed to see things from her perspective, and to remember how little experience she has, and, in short, I expected too much and didn't give her enough credit. I guess there are horses in the world that take a long time to learn lead changes; Nicole did 2 within the first 20 minutes of attempting them for the first time. The sensitive rider would have been happy with that.

Of course I forgot to turn on my video camera, and have nothing to show you, dear reader. Perhaps I will be more on top of my game tomorrow, as I've clearly gotten behind the 8 ball today.

I don't know how smart it is to teach her lead changes now; I have reasons for doing so, but I can also see the disadvantages. On the one hand, common dressage wisdom dictates teaching lead changes before the counter canter is firmly established, because now is when the horse naturally will want to change. On the other hand, I could see Nicole using this as a way to get out of counter canter at some point in the future.

But the truth of the situation is that the horse is using cross canter to get out of counter canter (or when she is spooking at something), and I'd rather have her doing a lead change than cross cantering. In other words, she is a little to balanced in the cross canter, and I'm concerned it's going to become too ingrained. Also, technically, when she flips to the cross canter, she is, in effect, changing her lead late behind, which I'm concerned will come back to haunt me, so I want to stop it right now.

Nicole, Simple Minds, and Lateral work: October 8, 2007

Enjoy the melodious sounds of Simple Minds. I just wanted to get the mare quiet and on her hocks enough to do a one-loop serpentine at the canter to work on her counter canter. She did it better after completing the lateral work.

October 3, 2007

We moved yesterday, it went fine.

Something's going on with her back, she isn't stretching into the contact. She's swinging her haunches in when going to the right, thereby disengaging herself, and not carrying herself properly and losing her balance. Isn't happening to the left - stretchy circles to the left are fine, but to the right, the stretchy circle is as it was back in May.

Back to lunging at the beginning of the ride to reestablish proper stretching and we'll see if that makes a difference.

The Inadvertent Marriage: October 1, 2007

Ok, barf. Seriously.

Those who know me in real life know my extreme aversion to relationships with other living creatures. I ritualistically eschew any form of emotional attachment, and shy more than Nicole away from any person who may need me in any emotional way for anything. (There are notable exceptions to this, and they know who they are, but they are few and far between.)

It's not in my nature to form steadfast alliances with other people; rather, the individualistic components of my very nature aid me in effectively living my whole life inside my head, only to spew forth thoughts when it suits me. To be sure, I'm certain I give away more than I actually do, and I suppose this is why I'm very good at poker and deceiving people into thinking I feel nothing.

So, reader, you can imagine my shock to realize that, yes, indeed, I have found myself in a committed relationship.

At 4:30am this morning I was listening to "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John, and began reflecting on the lyrics:

"And someone saved my life tonight sugar bear
You almost had your hooks in me didn't you dear
You nearly had me roped and tied
Altar-bound, hypnotized
Sweet freedom whispered in my ear
You're a butterfly
And butterflies are free to fly
Fly away, high away, bye bye"

When reflecting on the above, this exact train of thought entered into my head:

"Thank God I still have sweet freedom...hooks in me is just about right...who the hell wants to be someone else's validation...boy, Nicole sure needs constant affection...no wonder I have no tolerance for anyone else's problems, I'm babysitting her all the time...Sophie isn't emotionally dependent on me...damn horse needs constant affirmation, just like a damn teenage girl...it's just like I'm married to her...oh, sweet Jesus, DAMN! I'm in a friggin' committed relationship with my horse!"

Most equestrian sports, including dressage, require teamwork between the horse and the rider in order to produce a successful partnership. This means the rider, especially, has to take the personality and daily moods of the horse into consideration - I have to do the same with Nicole. Some days she's in a great mood, some days she's more crabby.

Nicole, especially, seems very dependent on others to dictate her sense of self worth. She takes her cues from me and from other horses, and I have to watch myself if I'm in a bad mood. As a person who regularly avoids having to concern herself with other's needs, you can imagine the shock I am still in at realizing that somehow I've managed to accrue a co-dependent horse.

In a way I'm lucky - often I think that if Nicole were more alpha than she is, we would kill each other, because, you can probably tell, I have a strong personality. Nicole, a beta personality, thrives on being in the passenger seat. At the same time, Nicole is very opinionated, and I constantly have to suss out her moods, and meet her on the level she can function on that day, and make sure, to the best of my ability, she feels good about herself.

One could rightfully say that sometimes the horse, and her needs as an individual dependent on me for many things, forces me to come out of my own head and to see beyond myself for a while. Believe it or not, this is a scary thought for someone of my nature.

On the other hand, does this mean I can register and get a bunch of presents?

Canter Transitions: September 30, 2007

AH! Last day of September...must get something posted! Must justify thousands of dollars spent on batteries for video camera somehow...here, a half finished canter comparison video will suffice!



I was stupid and failed to order another batch of Nic's magnesium supplement in a timely manner. I hope she is back to normal, now that I have it, before we see the Wonderful Wizard of WAZ on Tues. I'm pretty lazy, but sometimes my laziness astonishes even me.

In Which Nicole Plays Big Sister to Beckers: September 27, 2007

Nicole helped teach Beckers to go into the wash stall...Beckers is getting by with a little help from his friends...first Nicole demonstrated the wash stall won't eat you, but Beckers needed a little extra shove...

Canter Transition: September 26, 2007

RIP Number 2 Camera: September 21, 2007

Random horses in the forest pasture next to the farm. I didn't know it was pasture and thought there were horses loose in the woods. Ah, the sites one sees from the farm PortaPotty.

This one is stylized, but the original photo sucked (it still pretty much sucks. Too busy, not enough contrast). The one above is the only one that came out in the few I took before my faithful Number 2 camera broke. RIP, little buddy. 2nd camera casuality this year.

One can see, looking at the progression photos to the right that the photo quality plummets after March. That's when my Number 1 camera died. Fugi, 9 megapixel, manual focus, 30-400mm lens (something like that). That was a nice camera.

Camera Number 2 was an old Kodak 4 megapixel, 70-400mm lens, autofocus. The lag time was too long on photos, but it did the job when Number 1 broke.

Number 3 is a crappy Samsung 70-150mm autofocus, but its 7 megapixels, and small. It was cheap - you don't want to use expensive stuff to video horses daily because of the dust and dirt that gets in the camera. I may be shopping for Number 4 soon...

Nicole, The Puta Test, and the Dressage Paradox: September 20, 2007

One of the main paradoxes of dressage is that the sport, from an intellectual standpoint, is very easy to understand, but, in application, it's a much more difficult task to accomplish. This paradox is more apparent in dressage than with any other sport I’ve become fluent in over the years.

The overall main tenet of dressage is “ride your horse straight and make him go forward.” Intellectually, it’s an easy concept to grasp; the horse stays straight between the legs and hands, and maintains this relative straightness when on a circle. The forwardness keeps the horse straight, and the straightness helps keep the horse forward, which enhances the horse’s natural gaits.

From there, it’s easy to see how the rest of the fabric of the sport builds up and weaves together, how from riding straight comes the travers, comes the half pass, how from the 10m canter circle comes the 6m canter circle, comes the canter pirouette. There is no magic, no epic secrets, no biblical lore to it. Dressage really is nothing more than riding your horse forward and straight, and half halting when necessary.

Understanding this sheds some light on why I get so frustrated sometimes. Dressage isn’t a hard concept to grasp, but what is hard is accomplishing it when my skills are less than stellar and roadblocks appear in the form of tension in both myself and the horse. Finding exercises to eliminate those roadblocks, and ensuring they are exercises that the mare understands, is something that can only be done through trial and error.

Another roadblock is strength, or rather, that thereof. The smaller the circle and the more weight Nicole has to take onto her hind legs, the more difficult it is for her to maintain her rhythm and relaxation. I give the horse enough credit to know she understands the concepts as they are presented to her (she understood the concept of shoulder-in the first week I had her), but from her end, accomplishing them is difficult because she simply isn’t strong enough yet.

Nicole and I have something we like to call "The Puta Test," which is basically our litmus test to determine whether Nicole has improved. The test consists of this:

1. Get the video camera ready.
2. Wait for the mare to act crazy.
3. Ride normally, though the craziness.

If the mare looks more improved than the last time she acted crazy, then we've made strides in her training.

For example, a month or so ago, the mare wouldn't respond at all to half halts when she was tense. Now, I get some measure of response. By the same token, she would hollow her back and tense her neck, jut out her underneck muscle in the canter, and it would be all over. Now, she maintains some semblance of being on the bit even when she reaches the zenith of her discontent.

Lately she keeps falling through the outside shoulder in the canter. I'm trying different exercises such as spiraling in and out of a circle and riding a square instead of a 20m canter circle. Hopefully these exercises will help. With Nicole, riding in a square really seems to help; I try to apply that feeling on a straight line, albeit mostly unsuccessfully. Leg yields at the trot help too; it's easy to correct the outside shoulder in this exercise, which translates into better connection with the outside rein at the canter.

Trot Lengthening: September 16, 2007

The trainer I worked with today said something interesting in response to my query about whether Nicole is too far on her forehand. She said that a trot lengthening is, by definition, mostly on the forehand, because if it weren't, it would be a medium trot. To wit, the lengthening has a weight distribution of somewhere between 60% of weight on the forehand to 50% of weight on the forehand.

My concern is whether Nic has far too much weight on the forehand; what is reasonable to expect from her at this point? Having no point of reference, I can't discern this for myself. Word is the mare is going well at the level she is at. We will see when the next show season rolls around.

In Which Nicole Takes Up Ballroom Dancing in the Darkest Hour Before Dawn: September 15, 2007

Gives the phrase “dancing with your horse” a whole new dimension. Not sure this is what Guérinière had in mind…

It helps to have a sense of humor about the mare, and in a lot of ways writing about her is cathartic (read: keeps me from strangling her when she’s an ass), but it’s hard to not place some sense of self worth on the mare and her training.

Dressage is both financially and time consuming. Some months, I fork out more on Nicole than I pay for my home mortgage. I’m hardly driving myself into debt, but when I think about how I spend money hand over fist on the mare, and think about how alternatively I could enjoy a lovely beach home, or go to Europe 3-4 times a year, some part of me wants some justification for the financial liability I’m bearing.

It’s easy to say, “hey, I have a good job, make a good living, and gosh darn it, people like me, so really, if I suck at dressage, I’m not an overall loser.” But when you invest a healthy portion of your income, and spend a portion of your day in the pursuit of improvement, and when Twinkle Toes decides pseudo ballroom dancing is more fun than dressage, some part of your sense of self and ego is going to be at stake.

I'll say this though: When we have an influx of Mare Moments, as we've had the past 2 weeks, it tells me that something is about to improve. When we had our last slew of Mare Moments, last July, when we came out the other end, we had a more balanced canter, something that was pleasant to ride.

I think the Mare Moments are in response to additional expectations (such as increasing the amount of canter I ask for) and the building of muscle to meet those expectations. When I get to the point where I'm about to call in the professionals to ride her for me, I know now that it's "the darkest hour before dawn."

September 14, 2007

Nicole was bad today, so she had to stand in the corner.

I think she was pissed about having to ride inside (rain). I've been riding her in the field once a week (or every 2 weeks). She likes it.

Mare Moments: Sept 11, 2007

Will follow with new canter video soon.

Oddly enough, as it turns out, for a brief time in 2005, Nicole lived at the new farm I am moving her to. I spoke with the mare's old owner today, and she highly recommended the new farm, and said that Nic liked it there very much, and the care was excellent. So, whatever anxiety I may have had about moving her no longer exists, since most of my concerns were whether the horse would like the new farm.

Philosophy in the Tackroom, Part II: September 6, 2007

I have made a decision. I found a new barn for Nic, and I'm moving her for no reasons other than I want her closer to my home and because I want to be at a barn with a resident trainer. Currently, she is a 1.5 hour round trip away, and, reader, I'm tired of driving that far on the weekends, with the miles stretching as long and as frivolous as ants marching to who knows where. She currently is housed close to my workplace, but that convenience is outweighed by the distance I travel over the weekends.

I feel like this is a rash decision, as it has been very fast, and almost too easy, which always sets the alarm bells ringing in my head. But I found a nice place to move her to, with a resident trainer who is well respected, 15 min from Casa Maat. So, there it is.

I have ambiguous feelings about this move. On the one hand, the benefits (i.e., having her closer to me, having regular training sessions) are exciting, but on the other hand, leaving “the way we were” behind isn’t easy.

I've written in the past about Plato's Allegory of The Cave. One of Plato's main points is that the more one learns and progresses, the less one can go back to the place at which one began. It isn't a matter of choice. Ignorance is bliss for a reason; it's one less step towards the River Styx that is Enlightenment.

I'm a person that tends to look at situations with a kind of black-and-white finality - the closing of one chapter, the opening of a new one. That sense of finality is a heavy load; as I compare where Nic and I were a year ago, and especially the transformation over the past 3 months, to where we are now, the progression, albeit mostly intellectual, has been enormous.

Does water have second thoughts as it runs from the mountain, fresh but weak, to the field, to the sea, where it’s sometimes mire but sometimes clear?

When Pandora opened her box, and out popped Enlightenment, she had no idea of the Guernica it would breed: The “way things were” no longer suits the present or the future, and I can’t, with good conscience, return to a less-educated mindset as far as Nic is concerned. The pitfall of evolution is that some amount of simplicity is lost, and realizing one can't go back to the beginning, regardless of the benefits of progression, is a little sad, to say the least.

When I fired Trainer, and started taking lessons with Napalm, possibilities opened up; things (like suppleness) that seemed impossible with the mare made sense, and I could see a plan from how to get from scary and unbalanced to something resembling a trained horse. Simultaneously, I knew, regardless of how much happier I was with the mare, that the old self that believed that I was training my horse correctly was killed by evolution, a casualty of Enlightenment. Out of that fractured psyche a new self was born.

Leaving my current barn produces the same tensions. The water is murky but also clear; decisions more complex, but also more simple. Finding a new barn and making the right choice in that sense is a difficult task; but the choice to move is a simple one to make. Either we move, or we stagnate. Just as the newly deceased must cross the River Styx, enlightened evolution isn’t a choice, it is clearly a must for me, but paying the ferryman certainly isn’t pleasant.

Philosophy in the Tackroom: August 24, 2007

Reader, being an American through-and-through, and, therefore, essentially a product of the Age of Enlightenment, I try to employ scientific reasoning when making decisions, including those regarding Nicole.

In America, we are encouraged to question authority and to question what we know, and I believe I uphold this democratic principle in such a way that makes George Washington proud. Some call me argumentative; I call me patriotic.

In a move that would make Alexis de Tocqueville shudder, the horse world eschews notions of egalitarianism and, often, scientific thought. Perhaps the first is a product of the horseworld's Europhile tendencies (let's face it, the Germans and the Dutch are the Vito and Michael Corleone of dressage society, and these are societies with a long history of aristocratic tendencies).

Besides being the land of opportunity, America is also the land of unending paradox. Specifically, America is a country that is the product of the Age of Enlightenment but also glorifies the backwoods, folksy kind of citizen such as Abe Lincoln, Davy Crockett, et al. The good ol' boy being the sine qua non of American history, American equestrians, of course, tend to revert to backwoods logic when caring for their horses. It's only tradition to do so.

There are always shining exceptions to the broad brushstrokes I paint on Of Horses and Humans, but this is a trend with which I have become very familiar in my local habitat. Let me explain.

Lately, I've received much advice about this or that issue that I've faced with regards to the mare. In all sincerity, I do appreciate the concerns expressed. Again, being American, I believe strongly in the "checks-and-balances" system of government, and view these opinions as a method to ensure that every possible avenue is explored to arrive at the best answer to the issue I face.

Some of this advice has been, oh, shall we say, clearly unresearched, and, at times, a little scary. Typically, I keep my opinions about other's activities to myself, because it's their horse and they can do as they wish. But, hell, this is my blog, and I need to fill up these pages with something entertaining.

Just so you know I'm not entirely full of crap, I will tell you something about myself. Without going into too much detail (this is a public blog, after all), I'm in a position to receive some of the best advice and research one can get about drugs, both prescription and over-the-counter, for both humans and animals. I've done my research on different horse products, and talked to medical professionals "in the know."

My two biggest pet peeves are:

1.) horsepeople who take for granted that the list of ingredients on a product lends authenticity to the claims on the label of a product

2.) horsepeople who use products for off-label use to the detriment of their horse

For example, one I'll never understand: the use of liniment (such as Vetrolin) to cool a horse down on a hot day. Reader, put some liniment on yourself, then return to me in a 1/2 hour and try to assure me that you are most definitely cool. Go on, I'll time you.

A brief perusal of any medical textbook will enlighten the reader with this knowledge: Liniments such as Vetrolin are counter-irritants; that means they draw blood to the area they cover. When blood comes to the area what happens? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? That's right guys, the area becomes hotter (Think: drinking hard liquor and what happens to your face). The result? Using liniment to cool your horse only makes it hotter.

I don't care that one of the main ingredients is alcohol (which is the general justification for using it as a cooling agent), and that your mom, first riding instructor, Billy Bob down the road, and Jesus Christ told you the product will help cool your horse - alcohol is in the product as a vehicle and any cooling properties it may provide are overridden by the active ingredients. Your active ingredients are the menthol and (if included) methyl salicylate. Using liniments for its label use, to ease muscle soreness, obviously makes sense. It's a good product, and I'm not picking on the product, but rather the people who use it for off-label purposes and fall short of logic in doing so.

I've also been told that when Nic turns up with leg edemas (stocking up, to you horsepeople), to put liniment on the swollen areas. Oy veh! I can hear Hippocrates turning over in his grave as we speak.

My next favorite? The assumption that creams used to keep flies off of open sores have antiseptic properties, similar to Neosporin. I heard this one last week when Nic developed sores on her belly from scratching itchy skin, and not just from one person, but several. Guys, pesticides aren't antiseptics. The producers of these products don't even make those claims. Sorry.

Reader, please just look up the ingredients of your product in Wikipedia.com to see what they are. Don't just take for granted what your product is comprised of just because you've "been doing using this product your whole life" and because someone 1 million years ago told you the product did x,y, and z.

August 22, 2007

And just for kicks (only tangentally horse related, since it's a cowboy):

"L'Histoire de Nicole" OR "Good Conduct Well Chastised": August 18, 2007

Reader, you may have realized that I have not posted as much in August as I did in July. Rest assured, there is a reason for this. In the beginning of this month, BM was trampled by one of the horses (no, not Nic), and activities at the barn have rivaled the stratospheric, acid-reflux-inducing drama of Beverly Hills, 90210. I don't know about you, but I hated that show (ok, I secretly love it, but I do have my sardonic reputation to maintain, so keep it on the down low).

BM is left with an L2 compression fracture, and the boarders are left trying to piece together some semblance of normalcy. I won't go into the who, what, where, when, or why of the event, but suffice to say, I've been a little stressed and more than a little annoyed lately. Maybe September will be more auspicious.

There's an old joke in the horse world that goes something like this:

Q: How do you build a small fortune in the horse business?

A: Start with a large fortune.

Yuck-yucks aside, the only thing in the horse world you will get for free is advice. Lots and lots of advice.

Well folks, I hate to say it, but the worst vice is advice. Once one trots down that garden path of tossing out opinions like so many rose petals, it's kind of hard to turn it off.

I have been urged, nay, nagged, a little too frequently this month, also, to find a permanent trainer for my horse by well-intentioned outsiders. The good conduct on my part, namely voicing my neurotic concern for the horse's training in an attempt to seek resolution, has been well chastised by this blathering, and maybe someday I will learn to keep my big mouth shut. In this area, decent trainers run between $1200 - $1800 per month, although when dishing out this prescriptive advice, my urgers have a sudden onset of amnesia, and forget I am flesh, not legal tender. Donations, anyone?

Moving on.

I had another lesson this weekend, with a local trainer. I like her a lot, and will have another lesson next weekend. She gave me some advice that I like, and that I hope to follow. Among the advice is:

1. When I sit in the posting trot, that is the time to half halt. That makes sense, since when you rise is the time to activate the hind leg.

2. Nic isn't on her outside rein enough (I did know that), so ride her on a square to make her listen to the outside rein. The result is a more connected trot.

3. Release my right rein.

The Wonderful Wizard of WAZ said the same, which I find interesting, since no one said it before. I guess I have a "kung-foo" grip on the right rein, when what I really want is a "To Wong Foo" sort of grip. I've been trying to do so, and have had good results, mainly with the mare dropping into a frame and connecting better. It's a hard habit to break, but a necessary one. I've often wondered if this is why both BFF Steph and myself have chronic shoulder injuries to our respective right sides.

I sort of knew this, but something that's come to light in the past couple weeks is that I don't use my outside rein enough to encourage the horse's poll down. I rely too heavily on my inside rein, which results in a disconnected mare that cannot push into the bridle. On the flip side, WAZ told me to ask for roundness on the inside rein (see my previous post with the video URL for reference). I haven't figured out the disrepency, but the two seemingly opposite notions have to dovetail somehow. My puny brain just hasn't sorted through it yet.

(I apologize to my non-equestrian readers for the technicality of this post.)

The freaking story of my life is keeping this mare relaxed. Reader, I am well aware of my part in making the mare tense. I am a tense person, that's just how it is. And honestly, for reasons I won't expound on here, I'm not willing to change. So, the result is, I have to find a way to keep the mare relaxed despite me. We were doing good on daily 4oz of magnesium, and in accordance with the directions, I reduced the mare's intake to 2 oz daily. Well, that was a mistake. She returned to her normal crazy self. So we have gone back to the 4oz, and are calling it a day with that. She was quieter today.

August 16, 2007

Ok, so it seems I spoke too soon about the magnesium supplement helping the mare calm down. Here is a little snippet of one of her finer moments yesterday:



I hope she learned her lesson after the trip. She was very much on her forehand in that canter, and it finally caught up with her.

Speaking of her canter, it has become much more balanced the past few weeks. I know it doesn't look that different on the video, but she is holding herself up now, as opposed to relying on impulsion, as she did in the past. She is also starting to gain a lot more muscle on her hind legs.

I have no idea what sparked the large spook. I think it was just sheer mareness.

Nicole, 12 MG 24.3050(6), and the Wonderful Wizard of WAZ

As promised, I'm providing an update post-Quiessence withdrawal. What the hell am I talking about, you say dear reader? Well recall my post of Friday, July 27, in which I discuss my concern regarding Nic's spooks, and their escalation to a dangerous point.

Since that time, I've put her back on the Quiessence (which is mainly comprised of magnesium), and the amount of dangerously stupid spooks has reduced tremendously. So, I guess the horse is officially deficient in magnesium, and needs to be on the supplement in order to function sane by her standards (sanity being merely relative, of course).

This week we had the pleasure of having a lesson with Walter Zettl (for the uninitiated, one could make the argument that this is the most respected dressage trainer around). I've uploaded the lesson (45 minutes long) and the interested reader can view it. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9204320389161285374&hl=en

I videoed it just for you, dear reader! Just teasing: My memory stinks and I wanted the audio of his comments so I can refer to them in the future.

The things I need to work on regarding my position are: 1. Look up more 2. Keep my back flat and "don't stick my 'poo-poo' out" (I'm not making that up, I swear. I caught it all on video) 3. Make sure I use my inside hipbone more when I ask for canter. We had a hard time with halt/canter transitions because I wasn't using the inside hipbone enough.

Regarding the horse, he said I need to do more transitions with her. He also said Nic will have no problem with piaffe or moving up the levels. The horse and I received a lot of positive comments, so I guess I'm doing something right with her, despite not having any real lessons to speak of in almost 2 months.

Nicole, Star Wars, and The Ultimate Fighting Championships: August 13, 2007

Something not commonly known about me is that I have a passable amount of knowledge in the martial arts field. I studied jiu-jitsu for a number of years before taking up dressage. I dabbled in other martial arts disciplines as well, but mainly focused on jiu-jitsu, which, along with kickboxing, is the bedrock of UFC fighting. I don't discuss my martial arts years often because there basically is no need to; the subject only comes up with regards to self-defense.

Jiu-jitsu, obviously, is a male-dominated field of study. Being a woman in this milieu put me in an interesting position, namely because my opponent was usually a man. I was marginalized in a way that men aren't in the sport, not because of any conscious actions, but simply by the nature of my gender.

While on the surface jiu-jitsu appears to be about a show of force, the paradox, especially for women, is that the force the discipline provides isn't about strength at all. Fighting on a pure strength basis just wears the fighter out, creating an opening for your opponent to beat you. The forceful fighter (meaning the fighter that uses strength) most likely will be the loser; most women just cannot match men on a pure strength per strength playing field.

Instead, the successful fighter is one that knows how to use their own energy, and the energy of their opponent, effectively. It's in this arena that jiu-jitsu and dressage intersect, but in a way that is not necessarily obvious to the casual observer. I think you see where I'm going with this.

I never really thought about these similarities until yesterday, but dressage is founded on a similar principle. Using force, for the most part, gets no one anywhere when it comes to horses. The forceful rider just fights with herself. The horse weighs 10 times more than a human; it's ridiculous to think we can match them strength for strength.

The rider who uses the horse's energy to focus it and redirects that energy will eventually get somewhere. That's why you can see Debbie MacDonald (all 100lbs of her) riding Brentina, this huge mare, without being tossed into the next solar system. And that's why an untrained horse like Nic, when the rider tries to use force to subdue her, can run the show.

I've had to learn this with the horse. Sadly, it's something that should have been apparent to me all along, considering my past experiences.

For the past 3 months, I haven't been attempting to use force with the horse because 1.) it's just counterproductive to my efforts, and 2.) i'm lazy and it hurts too much to fight. And FINALLY, after 3 months of sorting ourselves out, I got an elastic connection for about 10 minutes yesterday.

(For the uninitiated, an "elastic connection" basically means the horse is more receptive to receiving aids from the rider. It means the flow of energy is such that the rider and horse are moving more as a unit and thinking on the same wavelength, rather than just being 2 separate entities. Think: the Force in the Star Wars sense, rather than in Fight Club sense. It's the foundation of dressage; nothing more advanced can be accomplished without it).

Interestingly enough, despite the Cult of Beauty aura that surrounds dressage, the discipline actually began as part of equestrian military training; dressage, after all, exists to make the horse more rideable. The "elastic connection," and all the suppling of the horse involved in the training, evolved in order to make the horse more useful in battle.

Dressage and jiu-jitsu have similar beginnings; just as dressage evolved to aid fighters in battle, any martial art is just that: martial. It's only natural the two would be founded on the same principle.

This isn't an earth-shattering revelation for the ages, but, regardless, I think it bears mentioning.

Nicole and Nicole's Progeny: August 3, 2007

Nicole, Cocaine, and Existentialism: July 29, 2007

Dressage, in all its glory, can be whittled down to 2 ideas: The horse can be either straight or bent (such as when on a circle). With this in mind, the horse performs movements, either straight or bent, on either a straight line, a circle, or some variation thereof.

These Euclidean activities require the horse to possess a certain degree of flexibility that can be taught, but is easier to train if the horse is born with some inherent "bendability" (what dressage folks generally refer to as "suppleness"). Some horses are "conformationally challenged" (to be politically correct), some horses are just born to be twisted into pretzels and get their rocks off doing dressage, and some horses, like Nic, are born with a lot of flexibility, but require a little help to ease the tension to help bring out the best in them.

Nic's antics are what dressage society politely refers to as "athletic" and what the rest of the world refers to as "dang that militant beast of burden done lost her mind." After the last couple spooks, I've become somewhat concerned about the mare putting us into a position where someone could get hurt. Today's was a little too dangerous to not raise the concern flag. Sorry, I didn't get it on film, but refer to this clip for a sense:

Unlike my post of July 20, 2007, this is one of those situations where someone could get hurt, except it wouldn't be the rider's fault, and needs to be addressed. Spooks aside, no one wants to go through life filled with anxiety, and I'm guessing Nic feels the same way. Nic was on Quiessence between April and June, and took her off of it after Trainer's departure because I wondered if her more "athletic moments" were because of his training or instead due to some generalized anxiety disorder.

I think she feels better on the Quiessence, and certainly was more quiet during April, May, and June. I'm pairing it with Quietex because I already bought it, and having both won't kill her. Quietex and Quiessence are comprised of different ingredients, Valerian root (mostly) and magnesium (mostly), respectively. Using both may be overkill on the sedatives, but thrifty nonetheless.

To a mare, essence isn't a mainstay of existence; let's face it, horses don't care if they are dressage stars. Rather, a mare's view of the world can be summed up in 3 words: Mare, ergo sum. Anything else is just incidental.

Cute, and although perhaps correct in a karmic sense, this philosophy just doesn't really work in the dressage arena. The mare's sense of self-satisfaction can't rest on her existential laurels, but instead, needs to be based on the Dharma of Dressage: Strength and Relaxation. So, enter Quietex and Quiessence, stage right.

The Quietex I have acquired is reminiscent of a lovely bag of cocaine; in other words, a big unmarked bag of white powder. The irony of a calming supplement looking like a bag of coke (which has the opposite effect of a calming supplement) is overwhelming. I can see the practical jokes a mile away - for a good time, just place the bag in your buddy's car, call the cops, and let the fun unfold.

I've observed, in my overly-cogitative, punctilious sort of way, an interesting phenomena over the past couple weeks; it may have something to do with the lack of Quiessence in her system, or may just be a new quirk. Nic's right lead canter, especially, is becoming more contained. In other words, the mare is exhibiting some modicum of self-carriage. (That's not the phenomena, even if it is phenomenal). I've also observed (thank God for video) that when the canter is especially nice (rhythmic, soft, etc) is when the mare has a tendency to explode. (Refer to the above clip for an example.)

What gives? Any takers? Lula May suggested that the horse is reacting to the increase in the amount of work she has to do; to maintain that nice rhythmic canter, the horse has to expend more effort. Sounds logical to me.

Like Charity, Insanity Begins on the Funny Farm: July 23, 2007

Readers, I'm busting out of the equid closet. Pull up a rug, it's confession time. I've pussy-footed around the matter, lied to those who would get up my ass, and, after yesterday, I've decided to just bare all, knowing that I am in the right, regardless of popular opinion.

Let me start this entry by layin' it all on the line: Nic is worked every day. Yes, you heard that right, every SINGLE FARKIN' DAY (barring injury, of course). Your common, garden-variety horse owner wouldn't dream of riding their horse every day, so of course, from those not intimately acquainted with myself and Nic, I collect wagging fingers wherever I turn for this decision.

Oh why, oh why do I insist on such a rigorous routine, you ask?

I think this clip explains it all. It was taken after Nic got 2 days off:



In other words, if Nic isn't worked, suddenly dead people begin appearing in that window, with the sole intent to eat horses. (If there's one thing Trainer did teach me, out of all the negative, it's how to stick my butt to the horse. A year ago, I'd have gotten pitched.)

Just like charity, insanity begins at home (or the farm in this case). For those readers not personally acquainted with Nic, you need to understand how smart this horse is. I'm not blinded by maternal rose-colored lenses, by some need to satiate my own ego, or by sheer nuttiness.

A few months ago, I taught her to ask for treats by pushing her purple jolly ball. It took 3 tries before she understood the game, and despite not having repeated the task for months, she still recalls the game and its consequential fruits, and performs it without prompting. So, she has the striking ability to learn a task quickly and to retain that knowledge over the long haul.

Plain as toast in a WASP household, the horse's brain is constantly working overtime. When she doesn't get out and work, all that energy builds up, and comes out in self-destructive ways. She needs chronic challenging, or she loses her mind.

Nicole had both Friday and Saturday off to let her left hind heal. Yesterday, I made the mistake of not lunging her before I got on her, and the ride was a total waste of time. The whole ride was a lesson in staying calm and maintaining a steady rhythm in self carriage, a task at which I failed miserably. She spent the whole time inverting and pulling, a reminder of why we aren't showing currently. In situations like this, when my horse is an ass, and the heights of her high won't wither and reduce, I just pack it in and call it a day.

Now I feel better. Just teasing, I felt fine all along.

Pumpkins, Did You Bring Your Limes? Later that Day....July 20, 2007, 9pm

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! Don't say I didn't call it - I said the 10m canter circles were too much, and they proved me right. Nic couldn't properly pick up her left hind today. She walked fine, but the dressage gods will be damned if the mare wasn't sore. There's good and bad to that, but I'll discuss that in a minute.

In the horse world, if things get out of hand, and someone gets hurt, it's considered to be "the rider's fault." Horses, with their brains the size of walnuts, and being in the care of humans, are not the "adult" in the situation, and as such, their humans are responsible for their safety and well-being. Well, pumpkins, things got out of hand, someone got hurt, and it's completely my fault.

I wish I videoed her today...

Ok, so now for the good born from the bad. Despite my "Grumpy Old Men" persona, I really am a "make lemonade out of lemons" person (even though I prefer limes). I'm taking the soreness to mean that she is using different muscles, and they are probably more the muscles I want her to use and build up.

So, we shall see what tomorrow brings. Maybe the dressage gods will smile upon us.

10 and 15m Canter Circles: July 20, 2007

Hey, y'all, remember when I could barely get a 20m circle in the indoor and it was taking my life in my hands?

It may not look it, but I know I'm getting somewhere because she actually held herself though the 10m, rather than flinging dirt everywhere from scrambling to balance herself.

I'm cooling it on the 10m for right now though, I think it's too much.

Evolution of the Photograph: Saving a Crappy One: July 19, 2007

It's still a crappy photo, but now it sure looks better.

Alright, it's fess up time: WHO has looked at BFF Steph's jumping video 15 times? That's more traffic than Nic gets! And it's not even linked to "Of Horses and Humans!"

With Special K out of the country, and BFF Steph going off to school, it's sure going to be lonely around here at least until Special K returns...sigh...I'm taking applications for the role of "sidekick" until Special K comes back. Any takers?