So, an interesting observation has floated down from Mt. Olympus and into my consciousness. I don't recall what spurred this thought, except maybe just the general experience I've been having lately about feeling out in space as far as dressage goes. I've noticed since Trainer's departure that my relationship with Nic has changed, but for the better. Initially, I thought that was due to Napalm's influence and Nic's increased responsiveness because of Napalm's exercises. I think, though, there is something else at stake.It's been a month that I've been sorting all this dressage stuff out on my own, albeit with some very helpful input from Napalm. I've had to reassess my expectations, my goals, my approach, etc, and after wading through all the distracting muck, I've realized two undeniable truths:
1. The horse and I are a team.
2. If I want to make my goals for this season, only I can ensure that will happen.
Just as our good buddy Niccolò Machiavelli outlined the necessary behaviors of the successful ruler in The Prince, so shall we examine some necessary perspectives of the successful horse owner/dressage enthusiast. Let's be cute and call this treatise The Equestrian. Let's examine Truth #2 first. One of life's overarching givens is that we as individuals really are alone. I know that we find ways to distract ourselves from that truth, but no one can secure our future, meet our desires, ensure our agendas are met, except for ourselves. It's an uncomfortable notion to have to face, but it's a fact. Even if you are married/in a committed relationship, etc, if you want something that isn't also something your spouse wants, even if they fully support you and your efforts to achieve your goal, it won't happen unless you expend the effort to make it happen. Make sense?
Now, for the record, I'm aware of this given. This is not a sudden realization, rather, one that I realized ages ago. However, this was one of those moments where the reality of it hit me square on the nose.
For whatever reason, I assumed that would not be the case as far as Nic's training goes. Let's just say I thought that others' investments in the horse is/was as solid as my own. I failed to realize that if I want the horse to be a trained dressage horse, no one is going to ensure that happens but me.
The people we think are there to help us generally have only passing interest, or are really hindering the process by intent, by jealousy, by circumstance, or by the every day distractions.
That's not to say that there isn't support - I wouldn't go as far to say I don't get support from the likes of BFF Steph, Mr. Sister, Special K, etc.But I guess I assumed that there would be more involvement and interest from trainers as far as really ensuring Nic has the necessary, correct, training.
Well, that really hasn't happened with the intensity I thought it would. Perhaps my expectations were a tad high or I lack faith with which other's are inherently born. Perhaps it's a manifestation of wanting to run the show.
This brings us to Truth #1. As a result of the realization of Truth #2, there is a different flavor to the relationship I have with the horse. There is less frustration and more understanding of the horse's needs, limitations, and perspectives. There is more realization of the effort the mare is expending, and how much she really does try to please. I'm amazed at the amount of effort she IS putting forth, and amazed that I didn't see it before.
I suppose, to sum it up, I've a new-found respect for the mare that wasn't there previously, and rather embarrassed that I didn't see it before. Instead of this being a contentious relationship, it appears to be developing more into a partnership.
There, koombaya. Machiavelli himself could be proud.
